


And They, of Little Faith

by PushPin



Series: A Series of Terrible Ideas [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Drinking, Gen, Gun Violence, Humor, M/M, Minor Injuries, it's only a flesh wound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-18 12:06:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 25,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PushPin/pseuds/PushPin
Summary: At first, no one was convinced Prompto could impress in the Crownsguard, not even his friends.  He was clumsy, an easy target, and was always the one making the mistakes.  With time and convincing he might just surprise them.





	1. An Auspicious Start

Ignis was tired. He tucked the take-home files he’d brought along under one elbow and quietly unlocked Noctis’s front door with his own key.

“Hey Specs.”

Ignis closed the door and found Noctis laid out on the couch, phone held above his head while he tapped at it. Noctis had been treating him with a bit more decorum than usual, still trying to make up for the car incident several weeks ago. The car was still in the shop, and Ignis wasn’t eager to give it back to the prince anytime soon.

“What’s for dinner?” Gladio asked, stepping out of the hall and brushing his wet hair back out of his face.

“Good to see you too,” Ignis sighed, dropping his papers on the kitchen counter and pushing his glasses up to rub at his eyes.

“Long day?” Noctis asked, still unmoving on the couch.

“The longest,” Ignis said, replacing his glasses and leaning a hip against the kitchen counter.

“Is Prompto coming?” Gladio asked, shoving one of Noctis’s legs to make room on the couch.

“I don’t believe so,” Ignis said, flipping open the file on the counter. It was a report from Cor about Prompto’s Crownsguard training. “He shot himself in the foot today during training today.”

“Oh no, what did he do this time?” Noctis asked, finally looking away from his phone to Ignis.

“He shot himself,” Ignis said, extending thumb and forefinger in a mock firearm before pointing down. “-in the foot.”

There was a long silence.

“Is he okay?” Noctis finally asked, looking like he wanted to be worried but was too amused to quite get there.

“His pride was the only casualty.”

“I can’t believe I missed that!” Gladio boomed, face breaking into a grin. “Who gave the kid a gun?”

“Cor.”

Noctis and Gladio both sobered immediately.

\---

Cor was staring at him, expression unmoved. Prompto could feel his eyes watering and he bit his tongue, refusing to bend or look down. Somewhere behind him someone was laughing.

“Give me that,” Cor said through gritted teeth, calmly holding out a hand.

Prompto flicked the safety on the gun with shaking fingers, doing his best to ignore the stabbing pain radiating from his right foot. He dropped the pistol into Cor’s waiting hand, careful to keep the barrel pointed at the wall. His face felt like it was on fire; he knew he had to be bright red.

Cor tucked the pistol away into a pocket and folded his arms across his chest, regarding the young blond who was desperately trying to keep a straight face in front of him. When Prompto couldn’t take having to look at the Marshall anymore he pressed his eyes shut. He lamented that a bullet to the foot wasn’t a fatal wound. His right knee was shaking and he couldn’t stop it.

“My office, one hour,” Cor said finally. Prompto nodded but didn’t open his eyes. Someone was still laughing like they couldn’t catch a breath on the far side of the room.

Cor took a bracing breath that sounded more like a growl. In an easy move he pulled a potion from the ether, slamming it forward and against the younger’s chest. It broke and Prompto yelped, stumbling back with his injured foot and falling on his ass while the magic worked. Cor caught blue watery eyes looking up at him in horror before he turned and took his leave.

\---

“He was not relieved of his position,” Ignis finally said. “It was filed as a training accident.”

“It could have been worse I guess,” Gladio said, amusement creeping back into his voice. “He coulda shot Cor in the foot.”

Noctis was back on his phone, already messaging Prompto. “If he shot Cor in the foot I’d buy him dinner.”

RoyalNightmare: hows the foot?

“You never know, tomorrow is a new day,” Ignis said. “From what I heard he was nervous around the Marshal before he was handed a firearm.”

Lil_mr_sunshine: haha thanks for reminding me i’m human garbage 

“The Marshal would squish him like a bug if he shot him, accident or no.”

RoyalNightmare: come over?

“Cor is there to train him, not discipline him for his failures.”

Lil_mr_sunshine: is gladio there?

“Was anyone else there to see it? If this gets out in the guard he’s roasted.”

RoyalNightmare: ya

“I’m afraid there was an audience,” Ignis said reluctantly.

Lil_mr_sunshine: i’ll pass

“Well shit, that’ll be punishment enough,” Gladio grimaced.

RoyalNightmare: he stopped laughing like 15 min ago ur good

“They’re gonna make fun of him?” Noctis asked, finally looking up from his phone.

Lil_mr_sunshine: and ignis?

“Oh definitely,” Gladio said. “He was already a little-“ Gladio waved his hand in a loose motion.

RoyalNightmare: all business

“Delicate,” Ignis offered.

Lil_mr_sunshine: i think i’m just gonna stay in and lick my wounds

“Sure,” Gladio conceded. “But the new guy shoots himself in the foot? They’re never gonna let that go.”

RoyalNightmare: cya tomorrow?

“Maybe he should have thought of that before he shot himself in the foot,” Ignis said archly.

Lil_mr_sunshine: sure

“I wouldn’t want to be him.”

Lil_mr_sunshine: ugh i need a new boot


	2. Step Forward (step back)

Clearly someone in the Crownsguard thought they were funny. Prompto stared into his locker. Resting right on top of his spare clothes was a bright pink squirt gun. He wanted to be offended, really, but it was a pretty good gag. It also meant that nobody had yet forgotten his little accident within the last 24 hours. In fact, it seemed the likelihood was high that everyone knew by now.

The training ring was empty, but someone had painted a little red bullseye over the bullet hole in the stone floor where he’d stood in front of the Marshal yesterday. At least they’d cleaned up the little puddle of blood he’d left behind. 

The only other evidence of his mishap was a single strip of black electrical tape over the crest of his right boot. The rubber sole underneath was still ‘aerated’ but workable. He’d washed out the bloody insole and put it back in, so his boot was back in wearable condition.

He headed for the firing range. Someone snickered when he entered, but he didn’t recognize them. Despite what Cor and everyone must have thought, he actually wasn’t that bad a shot. He’d just had a bad moment, didn’t everyone have those? Though for the most part they didn’t usually involve firearms.

If he was better maybe they’d stop laughing at him. So he practiced. He fired until his fingers ached and his palms throbbed. His arms were sore and his shoulders were stiff, but he felt like he could do this. He could be good at this.

\---

“Nice boot.”

“Shut up,” Prompto said, kicking off his boots and knocking them to rest under Noctis’s coffee table. Gladio snorted from his spot on the couch next to him.

“How was training today?” Gladio asked like he already knew the answer and was relishing it.

“Oh great, just great,” Prompto said, his voice thick with sarcasm. “I love getting called ‘Lefty’ and ‘Boots’ all day long. And don’t forget to ask me if I’m missing a toe!”

Noctis appeared from somewhere in the direction of the bedroom, looking sympathetic and sleepy. “That bad?”

Prompto let his head fall back to hit the back of the sofa, staring at the ceiling. “At least Cor didn’t have any more choice words for me today, so I’m counting that as a win.”

“How are all the toes, by the way? No lasting damage I assume,” Gladio asked, shit eating grin firmly in place.

Prompto reached into his vest and retrieved the little squirt gun left as a gift in his locker. Without removing his gaze from the ceiling, he aimed right where he was pretty sure Gladio’s smug face was and pulled the trigger. Gladio squawked and Noctis snickered.

“Damn, you got it in my mouth,” Gladio complained, standing and heading for the kitchen. Prompto continued to spray his back while he retreated to the kitchen.

“Nice,” Noctis said, taking Gladio’s now empty spot on the couch. He made grabby hands for the squirt gun and Prompto relinquished it to the prince. Noctis set to work spraying at the ceiling and Prompto was too tired to ask why or consider stopping him.

“What’s going on out there?” Ignis asked from the kitchen like he could smell mischief on the air.

“Noct’s trashing his place again,” Prompto announced, earning a sharp elbow to the side. “Just kidding everything’s fine.”

“Where’d you get that thing anyway?” Gladio asked, exiting the kitchen.

“Secret admirer,” Prompto said.

“You can put it in the armiger,” Noctis suggested lightly, hard to tell if he was joking or not. “When you get it.”

“You mean if I get it,” Prompto sighed. “The Marshal’s never gonna sign off on me now. He thinks I’m a total boob.”

“I can assure you, Cor is not one to hold needless grudges,” Ignis said, finally removing himself from the kitchen. “If you show enough promise you have nothing to fear.”

“Anybody ever shot themselves accidentally two seconds after he handed them a gun?” Prompto asked.

“No,” Ignis sighed. “Perhaps I could make time to give you a hand with training tomorrow.”

\---

“Wider stance.”

“If I go any wider I’ll be doing the splits,” Prompto whined, but shuffled his feet further apart anyway.

“Don’t lock your elbow you look like a scarecrow,” Ignis ordered without frustration. Prompto heard someone snicker from the benches.

“Ready?”

“Probably not.”

Ignis sighed. “Shall I come at you all the same?”

Prompto flinched but nodded. He tightened his grip on the polearm in his hands. It felt heavy and clunky in his grip, and he swore he’d seen Ignis filet a fish with one of those things like he was one with the weapon. Ignis didn’t hesitate, he leapt forward.

Prompto got to feel proud of himself for about half a second. He shoved off the first swing Ignis threw his way, like he knew what he was doing. Half a second later he swung the butt of the polearm back, catching on the ground. When he instinctively went to step away from Ignis’s next swing he caught his own pole behind one knee and went down.

Ignis just stared down at him. Prompto was flat on his back, lying on top of the spear with one arm pinned underneath it. He didn’t move to get up.

“Let’s try again,” Ignis sighed.

“Do we have to?”

Someone laughed and Prompto felt it like a slap.

Ignis offered him a hand up and he took it.


	3. A Touch of Magic

RoyalNightmare: u coming over tonight?

Prompto dropped the empty shells out of the cylinder before checking his phone. It was late, but the Crownsguard training grounds never really ‘closed’. The firing range was always empty after the sun went down, so he had the place to himself.

Lil_mr_sunshine: probably not, im pretty beat

Prompto swept the casings into the bucket nearby and grabbed a handful of fresh bullets. With only six shots in the barrel it took a lot of reloading to get anywhere.

RoyalNightmare: im bored come play kings night w me

Prompto readjusted his fingerless firing gloves and methodically reloaded each bullet into the revolver.

RoyalNightmare: iggy made dinner theres leftovers

RoyalNighmare: i havent seen u in like a week

RoyalNightmare: did u go to sleep

Distress and guilt curled somewhere in Prompto’s gut. He’d been too focused on himself.

Lil_mr_sunshine: sorry ill be over in like 30 min

Noctis’s reply was immediate.

RoyalNightmare: want me to come pick u up? i got my car back

Lil_mr_sunshine: nah im not at home plus i could use the fresh air

Prompto put his phone aside and set up a new target sheet. 

RoyalNightmare: ??? where r u?

Lil_mr_sunshine: working on stuff

One foot forward. Shoulders turned. Unlock the left elbow. Line up the sights. Finger moves from guard to on the trigger. Squeeze. Boom. Five more shots.

RoyalNightmare: ??

Lil_mr_sunshine: omw

Prompto left the target up and started putting everything away and picking up after himself. He left his gloves in his locker and had to scrub to get all the gunpowder off his hands. Even after all the washing he could still smell it when he brought his knuckles close to his face.

\---

“I could just give it to you.”

“I thought there was paperwork involved,” Prompto said, frowning at Noctis.

“The paperwork doesn’t do anything except appease my dad’s bureaucracy,” Noctis said, like the prospect of handing out magic was equivalent to a handshake. “But if I wanted to give it to you they couldn’t exactly stop me.”

“Wouldn’t I get in trouble for just showing up with magic or whatever?”

Prompto’s fingers hurt so he just watched Noctis play the video game. His practice revolver had a four-pound trigger pull and his palms were sore from kickback.

“Probably not,” Noctis said, unconcerned. 

Prompto couldn’t deny it was a tempting offer. It seemed too cool, the prospect of having magic, and he got to watch Noctis whip it out like it was nothing. He’d seen Noctis in the training ring with Gladio before, warping, switching weapons, all with grace and ease.

“Is magic hard?”

Noctis thought about it for a long few seconds. “Not really, just takes practice.”

“And you can’t like, blow up or anything if you do it wrong?”

Noctis laughed and Prompto felt better.

“Do you die if you warp inside a wall?”

“No you just slam into the wall really hard.” Noctis quit the match he was playing. “Most people can’t warp anyways.”

“What about-“

“You’re overthinking this,” Noctis cut him off, shutting down the game system and turning to face Prompto on the couch. “You can’t really hurt yourself with magic.”

“I dunno man, they keep me far far away from the magic flasks for a reason.”

“All you need to learn is how to pull and drop weapons from your armiger,” Noctis said, focusing his calmer gaze on Prompto. “It’s easy.”

As if to prove the point Noctis reached forward and crystalline light grouped in his hand, fingers closing around a suddenly solid shape in a blink of light. A pink water gun.

“Hey that was mine!”

“Let me give you some magic and you can have it back.”

Prompto was trying to think of a downside, he really was.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little, the first time,” Noctis answered, watching the blond apprehensively. “Ignis said he’d had papercuts that hurt worse, but it’s only for a second.”

“Alright,” Prompto said, pulling his legs up and folding them on the couch to face Noctis. “Let’s do it. What do I do?”

“Nothing,” Noctis said, clearly excited. The prince leaned forward, resting his weight on both hands to press a chaste kiss against the blond’s lips.

“Is this where we joke about how you’re gonna put it in me?”

“Hold still.”

Noctis leaned back, the pink toy gun still held in his hand. His fingers uncurled but the gun stayed in place, floating gently just an inch out of reach. Prompto shifted back against the arm of the couch uneasily, watching a flare of pink glaze over the prince’s eyes.

Prompto took a breath to speak, but Noctis moved first. The prince moved his hand forward and the toy gun glowed blue before it shot forwards with a noise like breaking glass. Prompto felt it hit his chest, and even more strange had the sensation of his chest giving way while the toy broke through him. He watched the toy disappear through his breastbone and grasped at his chest like he could tear it out. Like an electric shock the feeling of magic inside his chest was uncontrollable and incited a moment of panic while his body didn’t feel like his own. A breath later and it was all gone, everything felt normal all at once.

“Prompto?”

Prompto looked up at Noctis watching him, then down again. There was no hole in his chest, and a quick search revealed that the toy water gun was gone.

Twenty minutes later, after a quick rundown of how to pull things out of the armiger, Prompto still couldn’t do it. An hour more and he was sure he was never going to see that toy gun again, it would forever float somewhere in him and no one would know he had been given magic since he couldn’t figure out how to use it.

At quarter to three in the morning they both fell asleep on the couch, still no closer to Prompto reaching his armiger.


	4. Fireball is Always a Mistake

“Fists up.”

“Fists up!”

“Closer to your face.”

“Closer to the face!”

Gladio took a swing at Prompto without much force behind it, colliding with a smack of flesh.

“Bring the arms up when defending or you end up hitting yourself in the face.”

“Yeah I noticed,” Prompto whined, rubbing at his cheek. “Can’t you tell me how to do stuff before you hit me?”

“Stop hitting yourself.”

Prompto laughed, bouncing back and forth from foot to foot before he put his fists back up. “Okay, okay. Just take it easy on the face big guy.”

“Try not to get hit, you’re just a little guy so only block when you can’t dodge.”

“Little?” Prompto balked. “Everyone’s little next to you! You’re gonna give a guy a complex or something.”

Gladio smiled. Prompto flinched. They sparred, if it could be called that. By the end of it Prompto had been reduced to flat out turning and running away until Gladio cornered him.

“What do you do when you’re cornered and have no weapon?” Gladio asked.

“How should I know!” Prompto said, pressing his back against the wall.

“Think fast,” Gladio warned, approaching quickly. 

Prompto couldn’t think about anything except how he was about to need a potion. Maybe if he looked sorry enough after this Noctis would take pity on him and make him one. He curled his fingers and they automatically shaped to how he would hold his pistol. There was a pull, like a thread leading from his fingertips straight to his chest.

Prompto raised both hands and pulled on the feeling. A flash of blue sparks solidified in Prompto’s hand and Gladio stopped dead in his tracks. Prompto held a small pink water gun pointed straight at the shield’s face. After a moment of stillness between the two of them Prompto pulled the trigger. Gladio flinched when the stream of water collided with his face, looking nonplussed.

Someone on the benches laughed and Gladio rounded on them; they shut up immediately. 

\---

“Gladio said I looked like the drunken master of fisticuffs. Between him and Ignis I’m so outmatched,” Prompto whined upon entering Noctis’s apartment. He felt like he spent more time there these days than home.

Instead of bothering to try and displace Noctis from his position blanketing the entire sofa Prompto knelt on the carpet and slumped forward until he was lying face down in the narrow space between sofa and coffee table. “Also, I’m in trouble.”

Noctis didn’t speak, just threw one arm over the side of the couch and patted Prompto between the shoulder blades.

“I used the armiger.”

“Good job,” Noctis said, sounding only mildly interested.

“Gladio left to tell the Marshal about it and I ran away before he got back.”

“…Is that why you’re hiding here?”

“Yeah.”

“Putting off the inevitable will only make it worse in the long run,” Ignis’s voice floated in from the kitchen, startling Prompto into pushing up enough to look.

“Did you hear all of that?” Prompto asked.

“All of it.”

Prompto lowered himself back to the floor with a groan. “Does the Marshal kill people quick or slow?”

“Quick,” Noctis answered.

\---

RoyalNightmare: do you think drunken kung fu a real thing?

Lil_mr_sunshine: uhhh idk

RoyalNightmare sent Lil_mr_sunshine a photo

Lil_mr_sunshine: omg y who gave u a bottle of fireball

RoyalNightmare: wanna show me ur moves?

Lil_mr_sunshine: ur on

\---

Drunken kung fu was not a thing. One bloody nose, two split lips, a split fingernail, and a bruised shin that would take weeks to heal up. It was the price they paid for testing the theory of drunken sparring. If anyone walked in the training room at four am Prompto was sure he’d be arrested for drunkenly punching crown prince.

“I didn’t see you fight sober, is this better?” Noctis asked, lying flat on his back in the middle of the floor. The half empty bottle of liquor was ‘hidden’ blatantly under Prompto’s vest near the door. It was very obviously just a standing bottle with a vest draped on top.

“Probably not,” Prompto admitted. “But it’s more fun this way.”

“You’re so scrappy,” Noctis said with an uncharacteristic slur. Prompto shuffled to the prince’s side and dropped to his knees, sitting back on his heels.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You just- you’re like-“ Noctis sighed and closed his eyes, reaching out and grabbing Prompto’s thigh. “It’s a good thing.”

Prompto could sense his friend falling asleep. He pulled out the squirt gun, easier to summon now that he knew the way. Noctis wheezed when wetness hit his cheek, rolling away and wiping at his face.

“Oops.” Prompto forgot that while they were going for broke, they’d filled it with liquor instead of water.

“Argentum.”

If a cold shower was supposed to sober you up, Cor Leonis’s voice was one better, like ice poured down the back of Prompto’s neck. Noctis blearily sat up, looking to the door when Prompto didn’t have the fortitude to turn around.

“Mr. Marshal Sir,” Noctis said, doing an admirable job of keeping his voice even if his face was flush and slack.

“Care to explain what’s going on here?” Cor asked, face as impassive as ever while he held Prompto’s vest in one hand and the liquor bottle in the other.

“We are training,” Noctis announced, fearless as only royalty can be. “And that is Fireball.”

Cor frowned. Prompto whimpered. The Marshal approached.

Prompto twisted to face him, not bothering to stand up. If the Marshal was going to behead him at least he’d be in the right position. He stared at Cor’s perfect boots.

“I expect you in my office first thing in the morning Argentum.”

Cor hesitated and Prompto followed his gaze. He was still holding the pink squirt gun. Prompto gave a weak laugh that the Marshal did not reciprocate.


	5. Locked Doors and Late Nights

Prompto wasn’t fired, yet. Cor had made it abundantly clear that between their first meeting, his unapproved usage of royal magic, and a drunken (though friendly) fistfight with the prince, Prompto was on his last warning. None of this had been easy to hear at seven am while somewhere between drunk and a rapidly developing hangover.

Cor dismissed him with a lengthy list of duties for the day, remuneration for his poor choices. He had two texts waiting when he checked his phone.

RoyalNightmare: sry i got u in trouble ;(

RoyalNightmare: also

RoyalNightmare sent Lil_mr_sunshine a photo

RoyalNightmare: fireball is not good to get in your eyes shit stings

The photo was a closeup of Noctis’s eyes, one of which was noticeably red and puffy. It had been sent hours ago, presumably Noctis was sleeping off last night’s escapades by now. Prompto hadn’t even had time to ask him for a potion before they parted ways, and his split lip was really kind of starting to hurt.

The other text was from Ignis, only a few minutes old.

AFieryDeath: Why.

Instead of responding he headed for Ignis’s office. He knew the royal advisor started his days early, and also possessed a very comfortable couch. He stopped by a soda machine and bought a can of Ebony to bring along; a bribe in hopes he wouldn’t have to endure another ego-crushing lecture.

The light was on underneath Ignis’s office door when he got there, but it was locked. Instead of knocking he gripped the door handle firmly in both hands. The office doors in the citadel were ornate and pretty but poorly designed. Heavy doors, cheap fixtures, and wiggly doorframes made for almost useless locks.

Prompto learned this one day when he accidentally wandered into the wrong room and found it had locked behind him. With a firm lift and wiggle of the handle the door creaked, rattled, and gave in after a firm shove from his shoulder. Ignis’s door swung open with a squeal and Prompto shut it after letting himself in.

Ignis looked more surprised than unhappy, standing behind his desk in quiet alarm.

“That door was locked.”

“Yeah it’s kind of a security risk,” Prompto said, producing the can of Ebony from his pocket and tossing it to Ignis. “You should look into that.”

Ignis caught the can, staring at it like it might bite him. “Did you just break my door?”

“Ugh,” Prompto sighed, heading for the couch and falling over the armrest to land in the cool smooth leather. “I don’t break everything I touch, you know?”

Prompto took a deep breath and relaxed into the plush cushions, trying not to think about how expensive this single piece of furniture had to be. It had been twenty-five hours since he’d last touched a bed and he was feeling it. He hadn’t slept last night after Cor showed up, adrenaline running too high for him to catch an hour or two of sleep before it was time for their meeting. Ignis said nothing for a long time, but Prompto heard him opening and closing his door a few times.

“How did you do that?”

“Hm?” Prompto lifted his head, craning his neck to look at Ignis studying his door. “Lift, jiggle the handle, and pull towards the hinges.”

Ignis shut the door, did as instructed, and the door popped open.

“Who taught you to do that?”

“Panic and a locked room,” Prompto said, letting his head fall back on the couch and shutting his eyes. He hadn’t read his to-do list, but the thought of it weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Ignis crossed the room and sat on the edge of his coffee table, facing Prompto who looked rather comfortable, if a little pale.

“What on Eos were you thinking last night,” Ignis finally said.

Prompto grimaced, cracking one eye open. “It wasn’t my idea?”

Ignis was quiet. He knew all too well that Prompto was compelled to fill any silence in a conversation without encouragement.

“That was definitely not my bottle of Fireball and I don’t know where it came from,” Prompto tried, but kept going when the answer clearly didn’t satisfy. “Uh, we weren’t even using weapons? I was just trying out what Gladio showed me, but Noct stepped into the hit and his nose was only bleeding for like five minutes! Shit, this is about the armiger isn’t it? Noct said I ‘probably’ wouldn’t get it trouble for that. Okay I wasn’t thinking, like, at all. I’m fucking everything up.”

Prompto buried his face in the couch like he could smother himself, ineffectually kicking his feet against the armrest. It always surprised Ignis how high Prompto could hang himself with a little silence, and that by the end of it he usually ended up berating himself for you.

“You’re doing fine. I think we all forget sometimes that the rest of us were expected to be competent at fighting beginning at a much younger age. Given how long you’ve been training your progress isn’t bad at all,” Ignis finally said comfortingly, smoothing a hand over one of the blond’s shoulders. “Though perhaps you should consider avoiding the Marshal’s eye from now on. What’s your punishment?”

“You mean besides a raging hangover?” Without looking Prompto shoved a hand into one pocket, producing a crumpled sheet of paper that he held out for Ignis.

It was a very long list with Cor’s signature on the bottom.

“This isn’t so bad,” Ignis assured him. “How long were you given to complete everything?”

“Today.”

“Oh. Well,” Ignis said. “No time to waste then.”

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: u didn’t even get in trouble, did u

RoyalNightmare: nah

\---

It had been 37 hours since Prompto last knew the feeling of a bed. He was starting to think he’d forgotten what sleep was like.

The list Cor had given him was just long enough to consider being able to do in 24 hours, but completely unreasonable to complete in the span of a single day. The tasks managed to span the entire gamut of unpleasant chores nobody in the Crownsguard liked doing. Additionally, it was not the usual practice to entrust every unpleasantness to a single unlucky individual. Even Ignis took pity on him and brought him lunch partway through the day.

Prompto saved the ‘easiest’ but longest job for last. Reloading used ammo rounds. It was tedious, time consuming, and aggressively not fun. At least he got to sit for a bit while the casings were getting cleaned in the tumbler. He sat in the back of the now empty shooting range, waiting. It had likely been empty for a few hours already, nearing midnight.

Prompto was almost dozing on his stool, lulled somehow by the deafening rattle of the tumbler next to him. He jolted awake when the door to the shooting range swung open. A Kingsglaive Prompto didn’t recognize peeked inside, eyes searching the empty stalls before landing on Prompto.

“Anyone else been through here?” the Glaive asked with a frown.

“Uh, not that I’ve seen?”

The Glaive left without another word, shutting the door on the way out. Two hours later Prompto was pressing shells and the door opened again. A different Glaive peeked in, searched the stalls, then their eyes landed on Prompto. Prompto was confused; nobody ever visited the shooting range in the wee hours of the morning but him.

“You the only one in here tonight?”

“Yessir,” Prompto said, pressing another round and slotting it into the ammo box.

The Glaive hesitated, looking him up and down. Prompto wanted to feel offended but was too tired.

“Argentum, right?”

Prompto stopped, spinning to face the Glaive. He didn’t miss how the man’s eyes skittered down to his boot, the one with a big hole covered in electrical tape. Prompto felt his face heat up, waiting to hear one of the many nicknames he’d been given.

“Nyx Ulric,” the glaive introduced instead with a wave. He turned like he was going to leave before spinning and pressing on. “Did you really punch the prince last night or is that just a rumor?”

“Uhhhhh-“ Prompto’s brain fizzled, he was too tired for this. “He kinda asked for it? I mean he was into it. Like, he told me to come at him and I thought he was ready but he wasn’t. We were both pretty drunk though. But he’s totally fine, his face is fine! Well maybe that one eye is a little swollen but not because I hit him. Or- I guess that was my fault too. I got cinnamon whisky in his… eye? Yup. So now I’m here… doing this?” Prompto trailed off, acutely aware he’d said too much.

Nyx seemed happy enough with the answer though, he nodded and grinned. “I’ll see you around Argentum.”

“Prompto. You can call me Prompto.”

Nyx nodded and took his leave, and Prompto was alone in the firing range once again.


	6. Close Call in the Machine Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, ahem, we're upping the rating to mature for this chapter. It's fairly non-explicit, but I wouldn't call it SFW either ;)

In hindsight, it was all clear to Prompto. Getting dirty with the prince in the relatively public space of the machine shop was a bad idea. Unfortunately, his foresight had failed to scream ‘no’ faster than his dick said ‘yes’. So here he was with only regrets.

Prompto’s cock was so far down Noctis’s mouth he was pretty sure he felt tonsils when he heard voices outside the door. He grabbed Noctis by the shoulders and pushed the prince off just as the door handle turned. Ignis stepped in the doorway while still in conversation with someone; he saw Prompto immediately. Then his eyes travelled down.

The machine desk in the center of the room was between Prompto and the door, but was just low enough to still leave him exposed. Ignis clearly noted the crown of Noctis’s head and a distinct lack of clothes covering Prompto below the waist. Ignis stopped mid-sentence and his mouth hung open. Prompto kneed Noctis under the desk.

“Scientia?”

It was Cor speaking. Of course it was. Prompto felt his boner drop so fast he swore he could hear it slap his leg.

There wasn’t enough room for two under the desk, and Ignis was clearly already staring at something inside so hiding wasn’t an option. Prompto thought he might have had time to pull his pants up, but with the way the door was swinging open already he’d still be buckling his belt incriminatingly. He summoned the biggest thing from his armiger and dropped it onto the table. The broken gravity well machine he’d ‘borrowed’ from the spare parts room hit the table with a loud clang.

Cor was staring at Prompto by the time he looked up again, but thankfully the Marshal didn’t come any closer. Prompto heard a snort from under the desk and resisted the urge to kick.

“Argentum,” Cor said, gruff. His eyes landed on the machine, somehow unaware of what it was covering up. “Working hard?”

Ignis looked like he was going to crack.

“Yessir, very hard! Just, uh, working on stuff,” Prompto assured him, realizing there were no tools anywhere nearby.

Ignis finally snapped out of whatever fugue he had fallen into, shaking his head. “I believe I was mistaken, we have somewhere else to be. Right now.”

“Wasn’t that gravity well decommissioned?” Cor asked as though he could smell bullshit.

Prompto said nothing for a long time, trying desperately to stay still while Noctis, from somewhere under the desk, gently eased underwear back up the blond’s hips as quietly as possible. Not having his bare ass out while talking to the Marshal helped only a little. “Yup.”

Ignis wiped a hand over his face, suffering.

“And it’s here because?” Cor prompted.

“It’s here because,” Prompto started, struggling to come up with anything besides ‘I was naked and it covered me’. “I took it.”

Cor narrowed his eyes and nodded slowly. Prompto could feel Noctis shaking, one hand squeezing his ankle; the bastard was trying not to laugh.

“I thought, you know, if it was trash anyways I could try to fix it? I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” Prompto said in a whoosh of breath. “But I can put it back in the garbage if I’m not supposed to have it!” –‘just not right now because you’ll notice I’m not 100% wearing pants’

“Carry on,” Cor finally said, turning his full attention back to Ignis. Prompto felt like all the air in the room suddenly came back and gripped the sides of the desk. “Where else did we have to be?”

Ignis ushered the Marshal out the door first, turning to level a truly terrifying glare at Prompto that promised they weren’t finished.

\---

“Why do I listen to you again?”

Noctis shrugged. Prompto heard the key in the door, and prayed it wasn’t Ignis.

“Dare I ask whose idea today’s disaster was?” It was Ignis. No one answered.

\---

The Crownsguard citadel didn’t have a moving target system, but Prompto made do. When it was late and he was alone he would pace up and down the rows of stalls and fire while walking. He could summon bullets from the armiger now too. It was a complex little pull to do it, but he could reload his pistol and empty the casings without having to stop firing now. Either no one was impressed or they didn’t notice.

His arms were stronger, and he didn’t even realize they were bigger until Gladio pointed it out to him. His shoulders didn’t ache after long practice, and his fingers didn’t throb every night when he went to bed. He had a few guns he was allowed to keep in his armiger now too, two pistols and a rifle. The rifle was big and more difficult, but he was getting better fast.

Sometimes in the late nights when he’d been alone too long he’d show off to no one. A pistol in each hand he’d use magic to do special shots. If he punched the gun forward with the right push he could shred the whole target when it hit. He still didn’t know how Noctis could make magic look so easy, but he felt accomplishment nonetheless.

He tried practicing with the heavy machinery, but it was hard to get working and most of the Crownsguard equipment was seriously beat up. Sometimes he’d tinker with them, and he even got the gravity well working. He could only manage a little ball out of the thing, the size of a marble that only tugged at the dust, but magical machinery was fickle.

It was getting late one night during practice, but he’d promised Noctis he would come over anyway. Prompto was stalking up and down the rows with a pistol in his left hand, levelling a shot at each target. It was hard getting better with his non-dominant hand, but he was trying anyway. The door swung open and he jumped, shot going wide.

Nyx stood in the doorway and Prompto let the gun drop back into broken crystal, disappearing.

“Uh, hey,” Prompto said. “Still looking for someone?”

Nyx frowned, scanning the range before his eyes landed on Prompto again. “You always in here at night?”

Prompto looked around, as though there was anyone else. “Uh, mostly. Am I not supposed to be in here a night? Because nobody ever told me.”

“You’re fine, not breaking any rules that I know of.” Nyx stepped inside, shutting the door and scrutinizing the targets down the range. “And you’re usually the only one here?”

“Yup,” Prompto said. “Just me and these guys!” He summoned his two pistols and got a smile out of Nyx.

“There’s a betting pool going on right now,” Nyx explained. “Libertus keeps finding target sheets with really tight groupings but we can’t figure out whose handiwork it is.”

Prompto could feel the gears working in his head, but somehow churned out nothing. Nyx was staring expectant and amused.

“Whoever guesses the guard responsible gets the pool,” Nyx continued. “But uh, maybe it’s not you after all?” He gestured towards the targets and Prompto looked. The groupings weren’t bad, but he could do better.

“They may call me Lefty after that boot thing,” Prompto said, shaking the pistol in his left and letting it disappear. “But I’m right handed”

“Show me what you’ve got.”

\---

Cor had heard a quiet whisper that he should take a peek in the firing range after hours. It hadn’t been explained to him exactly why he should, but the Glaive had left without further explanation.

It was just past midnight and Cor could see the light was still on under the door, the muted sounds of slow and steady gunfire from within. The Marshal opened the door carefully, quiet.

The blond hair was a dead giveaway immediately. Prompto Argentum stood at the farthest stall, rifle aimed and too engrossed to notice the visitor. The blond’s face was smudged with black powder but his blue eyes were focused.

Cor watched. Prompto adjusted his footing, tucked the rifle against his shoulder, tossed a lock of hair out of his sights, and fired. With an easy and clearly practiced motion he ejected the spent round and squared off again. Cor almost missed the spark of blue, a telltale sign of armiger magic and a tricky way to reload.

Cor stayed still, watching for long minutes unnoticed. He knew the few impressions he’d had of Crownsguard Argentum weren’t promising, but he knew there had to be more to it. Plenty of new recruits suffered from nerves, though maybe not to the same extent. Cor trusted that if the kid were truly a danger his friends would have notified someone of it by now.

The kid finally sighed, letting the gun drop and wiping a hand at his cheek, grimacing when it came back filthy. He had to have been at it quite a while for that much blowback to accumulate. Cor took his leave before he was noticed, not wanting to startle the kid like he usually seemed to.


	7. "I think he was just disappointed"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, hopefully I'll find time to wrap this one up really soon! :)

“So you’re telling me that Cor says one word and you’re soft, but Ignis seeing your boner doesn’t ping?”

“I don’t think that’s what I said.” Prompto frowned. “Besides, it’s not like Iggy’s never seen me naked before.”

Noctis frowned in turn. “Wait, when has Ignis seen you naked?”

Prompto remembered too late that Ignis had agreed to keep that particular incident secret. “Uh... Can we just back up to where we were both agreeing to not do public sex things anymore?”

“You opened this door,” Noctis said. “I’m gonna die if I don’t hear this.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” Prompto said immediately.

“Have you seen Ignis naked?” Noctis asked, sounding a little too interested.

“What? No!”

“Me neither,” Noctis admitted with a rueful twist of his lips. “I bet Gladio has though.”

“Pft no way! I feel like under all his clothes Iggy just has another nicer pair of clothes.”

Noctis snorted. “Okay but please, I have to know why he’s seen you naked.”

Prompto sighed and slumped in his seat. “I just forgot one time that he has a key to your place. So he let himself in like I guess he always does and I was, you know, there.”

“That only makes me have more questions,” Noctis said, looking concerned. “Was I not there?”

“I think you were asleep.”

“And why were you naked?”

“Hey I’m pretty sure you were naked too,” Prompto said, defensive. “Just you were in the bedroom, not in the kitchen.”

“Was he mad?”

“No,” Prompto said, thoughtful. “I think he was just disappointed.”

\---

Prompto was still half asleep one morning when he checked in for the daily Crownsguard training, heading to his locker before starting. An envelope fell out of his folded uniform when he picked it up and he had to bend to retrieve it. There was messy writing scrawled over the front and it was sealed.

Turns out nobody bet on you, so the pot’s all yours kid. Buy some new boots already. -Nyx

Prompto tore the envelope open, nearly dropping it on the floor again when he realized the stack of bills was all 100’s. Yeah, he could afford a little more than new boots with all that.


	8. Fire Away (just not in the car)

“So you can keep anything in the armiger?”

“I guess?”

“Why do you even use pockets then?” Prompto asked.

Noctis snorted, putting his car in park and turning it off. “I tried it with my phone once and it got fried, so no electronics.”

It was just Noctis and Prompto together in his car. Prompto had finished up his Crownsguard training for the day and the prince insisted they go out for a change. Noctis had his car, the backseat looked as good as new, so they picked up a bag of cheap food from a convenience store and drove to the outskirts of the city to eat it together. They’d visited the spot before, it was close to the wall and high enough to have a nice view of the plains outside Insomnia. Prompto had at least thirty photos of the same setting but at different times of day.

“Go figure the ancient magic crystal hates fun,” Prompto sighed, kicking off his new pair of boots and resting his feet on the dashboard. “You think Iggy’s gonna freak when he realizes we’re both alone with the car?”

“Nah, he made it pretty clear what would happen if we messed around in the car again,” Noctis said with a grimace. Prompto had somehow managed to evade whatever retribution Ignis had wrought, but he did his best to pretend he hadn’t had any part in what transpired in the back seat of the prince’s very expensive car.

“At least he didn’t tell your dad?”

“I think that was mostly so he didn’t have to say out loud what happened.”

Noctis fished around in the bag of food and started eating. Prompto never ceased to feel a twinge of jealousy when Noctis could eat whatever he wanted without worry. He went for a diet soda instead.

“Didn’t you get a new gun? Lemme see,” Noctis said through a mouthful of snack cake.

“Yeah, I kinda couldn’t believe the guy just sold it to me.”

“Clearly he didn’t know who you were,” Noctis said with a roll of his eyes. Prompto summoned the revolver from the armiger. “Holy shit why is it so big.”

Prompto turned the gun in his hands. It was bigger than the standard issue Crownsguard pistols and he nearly tapped the windshield holding it in the car. “It’s cool, right?”

Prompto wasn’t surprised when Noctis dropped his partially eaten snack into the cup holder and made grabby hands for the gun. He sighed and picked up the half-eaten cake, depositing the pistol into Noctis’s outstretched hands before taking a bite. As much as he tried to eat better it was hard to watch when Noctis just abandoned perfectly good food.

“Have you fired it yet?” Noctis asked, studying the decorated grip while tracing his fingers over embossed detail.

“Yeah, it’s way better than the Crownsguard stuff. I swear those guns are like factory reject or something.”

“Only the best,” Noctis laughed. “Think I could give it a go sometime?”

“Yeah, just-“ Prompto tried to speak, warn his friend that maybe he shouldn’t fiddle with the decorated little safety switch, but he still had half a snack cake in his mouth and it didn’t come out in time.

The gun went off with a deafening boom, loud enough Prompto didn’t even hear the windshield breaking. He was pretty sure he shouted, but all he could hear was ringing. Noctis was frozen his place with the gun held at arm’s length, eyes wide while small bits of glass from the broken driver’s side window rained down on his left shoulder. Prompto realized a second later he’d dropped his soda, but couldn’t find it.

“Shit,” Prompto said and pressed his palms over his ears, pressing hard while willing his eardrums to stop burning. He wasn’t sure if he was shouting or not. “Thanks for the tinnitus!”

“What?” Noctis said only just loud enough Prompto could hear him. “Can you take this away from me?”

Prompto reached over, closing his hand over the warm barrel of the gun and pulling it back into his armiger with a grimace. The windshield had a golf ball sized hole in it while the rest of the glass was splintered, impossible to see through. The driver’s side window was broken, while the other three seemed to be fine. Noctis looked shell shocked, staring at nothing.

“You okay?” Prompto finally asked, loud enough to hear over the ringing in his ears.

“What?” Noctis said, way too loud.

Prompto fell into helpless laughter, despite everything. He fished out the can of energy drink from their bag and pressed it into Noctis’s limp hands. Without more prompting the prince imbued it with healing magic and they split it, which was thankfully enough to quell the buzzing in their ears.

Finally, Noctis spoke again, staring in horror at his car’s destroyed windshield. “What am I gonna tell Iggy.”

\---

It was somewhere between late evening and early nighttime, and as usual Prompto was alone. Most everyone was already finished with Crownsguard training for the night so he took his time under the spray to clean black powder from under his nails. He heard the door open and shuffled further into the shower stall. There were a dozen stalls in the room, but they were all open in the back without curtains, leaving him rather exposed. He didn’t usually use the Crownsguard showers unless nobody else was around.

“You’re here late,” Gladio rumbled from somewhere near the door and Prompto carefully stayed facing the faucet.

“Uh, you too?” Prompto said but tensed when he realized Gladio entered the stall next to his.

“Meeting ran late earlier, only just finished up what I wanted to get done in the training hall,” Gladio said, sighing like he wasn’t uncomfortable at all standing there naked with only a flimsy barrier between him and a friend. “Iggy making dinner at Noct’s tonight?”

“Uh, not sure,” Prompto said quietly, trying desperately not to give in and run. He was not a ‘naked in the locker room with your buddies’ kind of guy, but he hadn’t even washed his hair yet. “Can’t you pick a different stall?”

Gladio turned and Prompto realized immediately that the shield was tall, too tall, tall enough he towered over the impotent modesty shower barriers.

“You shy or something?” Gladio asked and Prompto covered himself with a cupped hand.

“Dude! It’s a personal space thing, like how you don’t piss at the at the urinal next to somebody unless you have to.” Prompto shut off the shower and moved to the next stall over, leaving an empty space between the two of them.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Gladio laughed, with a shrug.

“Great, everybody knows what I look like naked,” Prompto grumbled, turning the water on and letting it run over his head, wetting his hair.

“Even Ignis?” Gladio questioned, interest piqued.

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” Prompto said, scrubbing shampoo into his hair like he could drown himself. “And if you’re gonna ask, no, I haven’t seen Iggy naked.”

“Me neither,” Gladio admitted.

“Really? Noct was sure you would have.”

“Nah,” Gladio said, thoughtful, and Prompto was struck with intense deja-vu. “He keeps it all pretty tightly under wraps.”

“Why do you and Noct want to see Iggy naked so badly?”

“You don’t?” Gladio smirked, leaning up against the partition and Prompto tried very hard to pretend he wasn’t being watched while showering. Even with an empty stall between them Gladio seemed way too comfortable. “How about a deal?”

“Pass. I don’t even know what you’re going to say, but I know it’s going to get me in trouble.”

“If you get a picture of Iggy naked I’ll take a dive in training with you,” Gladio said. “Instant Crownsguard cred if you beat me, and Cor’ll sign off on you guaranteed.”

Prompto couldn’t deny the temptation of the offer, but was instantly sobered by the price. “No, I mean Iggy will literally kill me if I tried that. Like maybe just a flesh wound if it was you, but I would be in pieces by the time he was done with me.”

“Fine,” Gladio said and shrugged, thankfully returning to his own ablutions. “The offer stands though.”

“I’m gonna tell Iggy you asked for nudes,” Prompto said, rinsing the suds out of his hair.

“I’ll tell him it was your idea, who do you think he’ll believe?”

“Shit.”

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: did u tell iggy about the car yet

RoyalNightmare: no

Lil_mr_sunshine: ur scared

RoyalNightmare: um ya?  
RoyalNightmare: do u have cash

Lil_mr_sunshine: some?

RoyalNightmare: if we get it fixed he’ll never have to no, i just cant put it on my card or he’ll see

Lil_mr_sunshine: i dont have that much dude  
Lil_mr_sunshine: also im pretty sure we were 1 step from death with u driving head out the window, u’ll never make it to a mechanic

RoyalNightmare: na that was fun  
RoyalNightmare: *fine  
RoyalNightmare: besides I need u to work the clutch  
RoyalNightmare: plz i need u  
RoyalNightmare: prom please

Lil_mr_sunshine: ugh  
Lil_mr_sunshine: i srsly dont have enough cash tho

RoyalNightmare: ask gladio 4 some

Lil_mr_sunshine: hes a snitch an u no it  
Lil_mr_sunshine: he was so happy ratting us out last time

RoyalNightmare: tru  
RoyalNightmare: ill figure something out  
RoyalNightmare: come over

Lil_mr_sunshine: fine  
Lil_mr_sunshine: promise me we’re not gonna die in an auto accident

RoyalNighmare: if we havent yet we’re basically invincible  
RoyalNightmare: bring $$$

Lil_mr_sunshine: that’s not how that works

RoyalNightmare: statistics

Lil_mr_sunshine: ?

RoyalNightmare: we have a 100% success rate

Lil_mr_sunshine: says the guy who blew up his windshield  
Lil_mr_sunshine: do u hate ur car or something

RoyalNightmare: it was an accident  
RoyalNightmare: and we’re fixing it  
RoyalNightmare: right now

Lil_mr_sunshine: fine SIGH coming soon  
Lil_mr_sunshine signed off.

RoyalNightmare signed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update, my family got some bad news about my dad's cancer so, you know, depression :( Trying to stay positive, or at the very least functional, but it's hard some days!


	9. Gladio vs His Own Hubris

Lil_mr_sunshine: this just in: prince of lucis seen driving like ace fucking ventura

RoyalNightmare: what  
RoyalNightmare: that’s not actually in the news, right?

AFieryDeath: ?

Lil_mr_sunshine: fff this is the group chat abort abort  
Lil_mr_sunshine: these r not the droids ur looking for

AFieryDeath: Will this come back to haunt me if I don’t want to know?

Lil_mr_sunshine: def not coming back to haunt you  
Lil_mr_sunshine signed out.

RoyalNightmare: idk what he was talking about haha?

AFieryDeath: Ignorance doesn’t suit you.

RoyalNightmare signed out.

\---

 

“Wait, so was he coming on to you?” Noctis asked, sounding a little upset at the prospect.

Prompto frowned, thinking hard. His flirting radar was notoriously broken. “I’m gonna say not, because he still beat the shit out of me yesterday in training.”

“Gladio liking someone and beating them senseless are not mutually exclusive,” Ignis chimed in from the kitchen. “Though walking in on someone’s shower would be a new low for his romantic overtures. It was probably only misguided machismo on his part.”

“You wanna hear something funny?” Prompto asked, bouncing off the couch to lean on the kitchen counter and get a look at Ignis. The adviser was involved, stirring something on the stove.

“Why not,” Ignis said.

“He asked me to get a naked picture of you for him.”

Ignis dropped the spoon into the pot by accident, head whipping around to stare at Prompto with a look of alarm. Noctis whispered ‘what’ from somewhere near the couch.

“Excuse me?” Ignis said, stiff.

“He said he’d take a dive in training if I brought him your nudes,” Prompto said with a shrug like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb. “Also, it was supposed to be a secret.”

The front door was opening before Ignis could respond and Gladio let himself into the kitchen, oblivious to the conversation he just walked in on. Prompto turned and dropped back onto the couch next to Noctis. Gladio seemed to slowly notice something was afoot, looking at the other three in turn.

“What’s up?” Gladio finally said.

“You’re a pig,” Ignis answered immediately.

“Sure, but why this time?”

“Did you really want nudes of Specs or were you just setting Prom up for the fall?” Noctis asked, looking quietly amused. Prompto felt immediately offended at the prospect that he’d been set up to fail.

“Both. It was a win-win for me,” Gladio laughed, carefully positioning himself away from Ignis. He pointed a thick finger to Prompto. “Also, your ass- my foot. Tomorrow morning.”

Prompto paled. “What? Why!”

“You shouldn’t have told Iggy.”

“You tell on me all the time!”

“I’ll see you in the ring.”

\---

It wasn’t even noon and Prompto was ready to find a dark corner to quietly expire in. Gladio was having too much fun toying with him in the training grounds, and he just wouldn’t call it quits. Prompto knew he had no chance in hell of a fair fight with the guy who weighed two of him and had stamina for days, so he settled for trying to survive.

“Show me the kick again,” Gladio ordered, no nonsense as he held both palms out.

Prompto sighed, beyond complaining at this point. He’d tried hitting Gladio with everything he had but his legs just didn’t have it in them to even make the big guy stumble. In his head he knew he should consider this a learning experience, but Gladio just had too much fun winning.

Prompto stepped as close to Gladio as he dared, checking his balance before twisting, aiming his foot for Gladio’s palms. His boot hit with a dull smack and he stumbled when it was held in place, leg in the air. Gladio put a hand around the blond’s raised ankle, tugging and making Prompto hop on one leg to keep from losing his balance.

“Dude, let go!”

“Make me.”

Prompto thought about summoning a gun, but remembered the last time he’d tried that ended with a broken nose and two potions before he could breathe again. No, Gladio was too into hand-to-hand only combat to let something like that slide.

“You’re kinda limber, huh?” Gladio commented, raising the foot in his grasp higher.

“Why are you making this weird,” Prompto whined, trying to reach for where Gladio held him with his hands but the shield kept moving out of his reach, forcing him to hop along after.

“How long you think you can keep this up?” Gladio asked, pulling Prompto’s foot higher in a way that made his hamstring scream. “How about until Ignis forgives me for the photo thing?”

Prompto quietly fumed, desperately trying to twist his ankle out of Gladio’s iron grip. He hated being toyed with like that, seeing those moments when nobody took him seriously, like they thought he wasn’t trying.

“If you don’t let go I’m gonna flip, seriously.”

“Take your best shot, Blondie.”

Prompto hesitated, but consoled himself with the fact that even if he tried he probably couldn’t do any real damage to the oversized shield. He pulled back on his trapped ankle, making Gladio square his stance and grab his leg with both hands to hold on. Trying not to telegraph his move, Prompto leaned back, jumping as high as he could with his free leg and twisting, aiming his boot to kick at Gladio’s smug face.

Prompto hit the ground flat on his back. It took him two full seconds of staring at the ceiling before he realized Gladio was no longer holding his right foot hostage.

“Fuck!” Gladio shouted, muffled and slurred.

“Oh shit,” Prompto scrambled to his feet, first instinct to skitter back a few feet away from his huge and usually angry friend. “Are you okay?”

Gladio groaned, one hand covering his lower face. He spat blood onto the ground. Prompto kept a careful distance of a few feet, but his stomach churned with guilt and anxiety when he stared at the bloody spit on the ground.

“Is that a tooth?” Prompto squeaked, swallowing a wave of nausea.

“Help me up,” Gladio sighed, not sounding nearly as angry and Prompto thought he should. Despite reservations that he might end up with a broken arm, Prompto approached and did what he could to help the mountain of a man to his feet.

“Nice shot, kid,” Gladio said, words slurred and wet, but he was laughing. “You surprised me.”

“This isn’t the part where you laugh while killing me, is it?”

Gladio wiped a bloody hand over Prompto’s shoulder. “Can’t be mad, I asked for that one. Now call Ignis, I need a fuckin’ dentist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the well wishes in the comments guys, trying to stay positive so it's good to write a story with a few laughs :)


	10. Accidents Happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry there's a side of drama with your new chapter!

Prompto knew he was in the wrong place immediately. He didn’t have time to reflect on his own stupidity before it was too late. Ignis let go of the ornate grip of his dagger as though it had burned him, eyes fixed on Prompto’s face like he was afraid to look down.

They had been sparring, as the two of them did every so often when Ignis’s schedule lined up with the many hours Prompto spent at the training grounds. Prompto didn’t want to be completely useless with a blade and Ignis said it was always better to practice with company. Prompto was still working with the dull training blades, too untested with a sword to trust himself swinging at a real person. Ignis was most proficient with the decorative little daggers he kept in his armiger and had no trouble practicing with live blades.

Prompto tried to take a step back but his knees gave out first. He fell back, staring at the ceiling of the Crownsguard training ground he was getting to know quite well. The dagger in his right side was heavy and pulling uncomfortably, so he reached up to hold it steady. Immediately Ignis’s face floated above him and pried his hand off the hilt.

“You’re alright.”

While Prompto was inclined to believe Ignis he couldn’t quite dispel the feeling of impending doom brought on by the blade still wedged under his rib. It was good/bad placement, depending on who you wanted dead.

“Take a deep breath.”

Ignis’s hand holding the blade wasn’t as steady as Prompto would have liked, he could feel every minute movement like static shocks through his abdomen.

“For God’s sake at least breathe.”

Prompto blinked. Ignis banished the blade instead of pulling it from Prompto’s side first and the blond wheezed out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. In a blink Ignis had a hi-potion in his hand and broke it over Prompto’s side.

The pain eased immediately, but his side still felt sore and tight.

“Better?”

Prompto drew a shaky breath and the spots around the side of his vision receded. His heart felt like it was going to break his ribs open it was beating so hard. Ignis was still leaning over him, one gloved hand gently sliding up the side of Prompto’s shirt to touch at his now whole flank and finding it without flaw.

“Prompto?” Ignis sounded small and the unusual cadence drew Prompto’s attention to his face.

“I’m fine,” Prompto said but his voice broke.

Ignis let out a sigh of relief. “Let me help you up.”

“I think I’m gonna stay here for a minute. Just. Not moving.”

“As you wish,” Ignis said, sitting on the floor next to him and peeling off his bloody glove.

“Sorry.”

Ignis frowned.

“I’m an idiot,” Prompto continued, clarifying.

“It takes two to tango,” Ignis said. “I can assure you the fault is not solely yours. You weren’t the one holding the blade, after all.”

“You’re not gonna tell the Marshal I walked into your knife, right? God, I’m so fired.”

“I can personally assure you that you will not be fired for being on the receiving end of another training accident.”

Prompto let his head fall to the side, looking up at Ignis sitting next to him. The older man looked shaken, something Prompto wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before.

“You okay?” Prompto asked, but he couldn’t quite raise his voice above a conspiratorial whisper.

“Did you hit your head on the way down? I’m fine, I assure you.”

“You look freaked out.”

“I don’t stab my friends as often as you’re imagining.”

Prompto tried not to smile, really he did. Friends. Intellectually he thought he knew Ignis was his friend, but deep down he couldn’t dismiss the thought that the advisor only put up with him since he was with Noctis.

“That wasn’t very funny, what are you smiling at?” Ignis asked.

“Your face. Help me up.”

\---

RoyalNightmare: u ok? igs said u took a bad hit

Lil_mr_sunshine: perforated  
Lil_mr_sunshine: aerated  
Lil_mr_sunshine: julienned  
Lil_mr_sunshine: that’s a cooking chop right?

RoyalNightmare: ;(

Lil_mr_sunshine: haha im fine  
Lil_mr_sunshine: didnt need that liver anyway since no more fireball ever again

RoyalNightmare: u wanna come over?

Lil_mr_sunshine: only if i can borrow a shirt  
Lil_mr_sunshine: also pick me up i cant go on the bus like this  
Lil_mr_sunshine: i will def be arrested for murder in a blood shirt

RoyalNightmare: D;

Lil_mr_sunshine: dude im fine lol  
Lil_mr_sunshine: it was only 38% worse than the foot thing  
Lil_mr_sunshine: also p sure i get a free pass the next 3 times i piss iggy off  
Lil_mr_sunshine: pity pass

RoyalNightmare: u dont piss him off  
RoyalNightmare: thats my job  
RoyalNightmare: he kind of likes u

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol

RoyalNightmare: cya soon leaving now  
RoyalNightmare: dont do anything stupid until i get there

Lil_mr_sunshine: pft never  
Lil_mr_sunshine: besides ive already exceeded my daily quota of doing stupid shit

\---

Prompto remembered being told once that if someone wants to do something nice for you that you should accept it, even if you don’t want it. It makes people feel better when they can do something for you.

Ignis apparently decided to take on a great deal of guilt after the accidental stabbing that could only be assuaged by promising Prompto he’d replace his ruined shirt. So, Prompto dutifully agreed that a new t-shirt was a fair repayment for a short-lived hole in his side. Unfortunately, it was almost immediately obvious to Prompto that Ignis was going to take him somewhere expensive.

“I’m pretty sure I paid less than five dollars for that shirt,” Prompto said, shuffling alongside Ignis. “It wasn’t even new when I got it.”

Ignis was quiet, seemingly parsing the thought that clothes could be purchased in used condition.

“This isn’t gonna be like shopping with Noct, right? Where it’s like everything’s worth monopoly money to him,” Prompto said with a grimace. He died a little inside whenever he watched the crown prince buy a single article of clothing with a price in the triple digits.

“I don’t think there’s any shirt in Insomnia you could pick that would ruin my bank account Prompto.”

“Good money in babysitting, huh?”

Ignis laughed and Prompto beamed.

Ignis at least pretended to shop for himself so Prompto tailed along behind him in stores, trying not to be obvious when he recoiled at the prices.

“Did you and your son need help finding anything today?”

Prompto looked around at first, not realizing the salesperson was speaking to Ignis. Ignis pressed his eyes shut and stood very still like he was trying to be invisible. The salesperson grimaced, immediately comprehending the unfavorable reaction to their assumption. Prompto lit up like a Christmas tree, unadulterated delight.

“We were just leaving,” Ignis said, voice strained, just before the first peals of Prompto’s laughter could cut him off. He didn’t wait up for Prompto, heading straight for the door without looking back.

Prompto had to lean against the nearest clothing rack for support before he keeled over laughing. It took him several minutes of laughing hard enough he could barely breathe before he was able to collect himself enough to stumble out the front door. His sides hurt and he had to wipe his eyes, but Ignis wasn’t too far down the road.

“Wait for me, dad!” Prompto called and Ignis flinched, his face visibly red while he drowned himself in a coffee he’d gotten somewhere while waiting for his friend. Prompto jogged to catch up to him, bumping his shoulder when they were side by side and working out the last few giggles.

“I don’t suppose we could keep that between the two of us,” Ignis said, sounding wilted.

“I can’t even keep my own embarrassing secrets,” Prompto said, still blatantly delighted. “That was so much better than a crappy t-shirt. Wow, I got a dad.”

“I don’t think I can ever go back to that store,” Ignis sighed.


	11. Babysitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went on a vacation last week and wow, really what a terrible time. Just the worst. I thought hey, I'll just write some more of that fic that's off the rails since, you know, vacation and free time and whatnot. Nope, the whole time I just wished I could go home because everything was awful :)

Brickshthouse: i need a favor  
Brickshthouse: u there?

Lil_mr_sunshine: sure wats up?

Brickshthouse: can u watch my kid sis for a few hours?  
Brickshthouse: we need her out of the house and ur my last hope

Lil_mr_sunshine: wow that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy  
Lil_mr_sunshine: last pick

Brickshthouse: its babysitting duty u should but glad ur last call

Lil_mr_sunshine: isnt ur sis 2 old 4 bby sitting?

Brickshthouse: shes 12  
Brickshthouse: u owe me after the tooth thing  
Brickshthouse: dentist aint cheap bro

Lil_mr_sunshine: i never said i wouldnt help!

Brickshthouse: great  
Brickshthouse: u still at trng ground?

Lil_mr_sunshine: ya i live here now lol

Brickshthouse: ill drop her off there  
Brickshthouse signed out.

Lil_mr_sunshine: “thx prompto ur a lifesaver”  
Lil_mr_sunshine: pretend i didnt send that D:  
Lil_mr_sunshine signed out.

\---

 

Fifteen minutes after Iris was left in his responsibility Prompto was starting to wonder if he’d made a mistake. He’d been practicing training forms when Iris wandered in, stating the Gladio had been in a rush or he would have come to say hello.

Iris was cute, petite and bubbly but undeniably related to Gladio with the exact same hair and eye color. She had insisted on helping with some ‘light’ sparring, not taking no for an answer. Prompto’s only thought was how he would be a dead man walking if he managed to hurt Iris Amicitia. So he decided to play it defensively, play it safe.

Sparring with Gladio was like fighting a calm but physically unstoppable bear. On the flipside Iris was like a wolf, quick and unrelenting with dizzying and deceptively powerful hits. She giggled every time he stumbled and he pretended like he wasn’t checking if she’d broken one of his ribs yet. He was starting to miss Gladio.

“You’re way quicker than Gladdy!” Iris said, seemingly delighted by the violence. “It’s so much better sparring someone my own size for once.”

“Oh come on, don’t say that,” Prompto groaned, feeling any self-confidence he might have had drain away. “You’re a little girl. Don’t, you know, compare me to that.”

Iris apparently did not appreciate the comment. Prompto did not immediately realize his mistake, but didn’t have long to analyze Iris’s determined frown. She came at him like a freight train but he tamped down his initial reaction to take a swing at her. With a tiny fist and surprisingly slight motion she knocked the wind out of him and twisted an arm behind his back, forcing him to turn away or dislocate a shoulder.

“Ow, uncle!” Prompto shouted and was momentarily stunned when Iris actually let go. His shoulder felt just about wrecked and he let his arm fall limp before both of Iris’s arms were around his waist, pinning his elbows to his sides.

He had exactly two seconds to consider how small Iris’s hands were, locked together around him like two skinny iron bars. He felt his feet leaving the ground, the world turned, and Prompto was pretty sure he screamed. He hit the back of his neck first, slamming into the stone floor from the back of his head to his shoulders.

Someone far away was applauding, and it took Prompto several long seconds to realize he was once again staring at the ceiling of the training grounds and had lost some time. He dragged in a breath when his chest allowed it finally and every nerve from the top of his head to his bellybutton screamed. Iris’s head floated somewhere above him, incandescently happy.

“Sorry, you said you didn’t want to be compared to a little girl?”

\---

Even after a potion Prompto’s spine felt like loosely stacked bricks scraping against one another. He led Iris to the bus stop on wobbly legs while she skipped beside him, unable to contain her elation at having performed a perfect suplex. Prompto managed a weak smile while they waited.

“When does the bus come again?” she asked after ten minutes of impatiently waiting in light drizzling rain.

“It’s late,” Prompto explained. “After eight the drivers are a bit spotty, but they almost always show up.”

“Why don’t you just drive?”

Prompto laughed before he realized she wasn’t kidding.

“Oh. Uh, I don’t have a car,” Prompto explained, wondering if he was going to end up insulting her lack of knowledge or his own lowly position as a commoner. “The bus isn’t so bad though, you meet some weird people so that’s fun.”

Iris opened her mouth with another question but the bus pulled up first. When the doors opened she bounded up the stairs and inside. The driver didn’t stop her so Prompto paid for both of them before following her to the back where she’d already claimed a seat on the mostly empty bus. Prompto eased himself down, trying not to move his spine.

“How does the bus driver know where you live?” Iris whispered once the bus was moving again.

“They don’t?” Prompto answered, not bothering to whisper.

“Then how do you get home?” she asked, frowning and watching the city pass be the windows.

“When we get close you push that button and he’ll let us out at the next stop.”

“And that’s at your house?”

“Near it. Uh, apartment.”

“Is that like a condo?”

“Sure.”

The two of them struggled to hold up a meaningful conversation during the ride home. They had very little in common, but it turned out there was one huge thing Prompto had in common with Iris: a deep-seated love of all things Prince Noctis.

“Do you follow the Instagram that’s all the press photos but cropped down to his butt?”

“That’s not a thing,” Prompto insisted.

“It is! I don’t follow it but, you know, I’ve seen it,” Iris said, guilty smile hidden under a coy hand.

“What’s the name? For research purposes.”

“I can’t say it out loud in public, gimme your phone,” Iris said. “Also please don’t tell Gladdy where I’ve been on the internet.”

“Your internet history is safe with me,” Prompto said, handing his phone over.

“Did you see the one driving with his head out the car window?”

Prompto paled. “What one?”

“It’s totally a photoshop, but it’s still funny. The windshield’s all broken.”

“And it’s fake?” Prompto asked quietly.

“Of course it is. No one’s dumb enough to drive around like that!” Iris laughed. “But everyone made a meme about it like ‘Prince of Lucis don’t care’, it was funny for a while.”

“Uh huh.”

\---

“Is this… it?” Iris said, wandering past the kitchen and into the small attached living room while Prompto locked the front door. He felt heat rise to his cheeks. Of course Iris wouldn’t think anything of his parents’ small barely-two-bedroom apartment.

Prompto opened his mouth, scraping for the words to brush off her comment like it didn’t matter.

“It’s so empty,” she said, turning and facing him. “I just thought it would be more… like you.”

“Like me?” he asked, scanning the room behind her. It was the same as it always had been, as back as he could remember it hadn’t changed. Old sofa, small TV, dusty coffee table, white walls, and a small window with the curtains drawn.

“You take pictures, right? Where are they?” Iris asked, politely smiling at him.

“I keep it to my room,” Prompto said, waving for her to follow down the short hall and down to the end where his room was. Iris’s smile lit up to something more genuine when she crossed the threshold.

His room was messy so he kicked what he could under the bed, shoving a few broken electronics projects into drawers, and turning on his bedside lamp. Iris didn’t pay it any attention. She folded her arms behind her back and studied the wall of haphazardly pinned up photos next to his bed. It was controlled chaos, busy but not too messy and each photo was important.

“This is better,” she said and Prompto stopped. “This is who I thought you were.”

“Here,” Prompto offered and she finally pulled herself away from the wall. He tugged a shoebox out from under the foot-well of his desk and dropped it on his desk. “There should be some of Noct in there if you wanna look.”

“Really?” Iris asked, already digging her fingers into the messily stuffed box of photos.

“Knock yourself out,” Prompto sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed and checking his phone.

RoyalNightmare: come over

“There’s so many!”

Lil_mr_sunshine: busy 2nite sry dude :(

“You can keep some if you want,” Prompto said.

RoyalNightmare: boo

“Really?” Iris chirped, busily sifting through photos and sorting them into piles. “These are so good though!”

Lil_mr_sunshine: i no im tha worst

“If you’re looking for shots of the royal hindquarters,” Prompto said. “You’re gonna be disappointed.”

RoyalNightmare: dont work too hard

Iris giggled and had the modesty to blush.

Lil_mr_sunshine: me? never

\---

Brickshthouse: dont worry iggy u dont look a day over 40

AFieryDeath: Sigh.  
AFieryDeath: Prompto told you?

Brickshthouse: u bet

AFieryDeath: You wouldn’t happen to know if he said anything to Noct?

Brickshthouse: not yet

AFieryDeath: Do me a favor.  
AFieryDeath: Kill him before he can.

Brickshthouse: lol ok  
Brickshthouse signed out.

AFieryDeath: That was a joke?  
AFieryDeath: ???  
AFieryDeath signed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think the boys chose screen names for each other.
> 
> Prompto => Gladio/Brickshthouse  
> Ignis => Noctis/RoyalNightmare  
> Gladio => Ignis/AFieryDeath  
> Noctis => Prompto/Lil_mr_sunshine


	12. A Textual Misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I got carried away with the chat logs again. I imagine the four bros text each other constantly and indiscriminately. For reference, any time there's a --- break it means you're switching chats. All the chats in this chapter are 1x1, no group chat.
> 
> Also, as someone who has had bad back experiences I can commiserate with Prompto. I woke up once in college and literally couldn't sit up because my neck would not move, so, that happens :) You never really realize how soft a damn bed is until you can't get out of one after a spinal crisis. He'll be fine haha

Lil_mr_sunshine: how do u sit up w a broken neck

RoyalNightmare: u dont

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: ur sister broke me last night how do i sit up

Brickshthouse: lmao  
Brickshthouse: where broken?

Lil_mr_sunshine: general area of entire spine

Brickshthouse: suplex?

Lil_mr_sunshine: ffff ya  
Lil_mr_sunshine: it was the least friendly hug ive ever been a part of

Brickshthouse: she does that sometimes  
Brickshthouse: never trust a hug  
Brickshthouse: just dont move it will feel better tomorrow

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: hypothetical question  
Lil_mr_sunshine: after broken neck then potion  
Lil_mr_sunshine: will my back ever be the same?

AFieryDeath: I have some concerns.  
AFieryDeath: Hypothetical?

Lil_mr_sunshine: mostly

AFieryDeath: Right.  
AFieryDeath: Hypothetically, what happened?

Lil_mr_sunshine: suplex

AFieryDeath: ???

Lil_mr_sunshine: its a wrestling move

AFieryDeath: Yes I’m aware.  
AFieryDeath: Where are you?

Lil_mr_sunshine: uhhh

AFieryDeath: Hypothetically.

Lil_mr_sunshine: in bed  
Lil_mr_sunshine: where theoretically i cant get up  
Lil_mr_sunshine: and potentially may need to use the bathroom soonish

AFieryDeath: I see.  
AFieryDeath: brb

Lil_mr_sunshine: Iggy? :(

\---

RoyalNightmare: y arent u here?

AFieryDeath: Prompto.

RoyalNightmare: what happened to his neck

AFieryDeath: Suplex, or so I’m told.

RoyalNightmare: whats that

AFieryDeath: Look it up.

RoyalNightmare: thats ur job  
RoyalNightmare: also ur job  
RoyalNightmare: this meeting

AFieryDeath: God forbid a budget meeting trumps Prompto wetting the bed.

RoyalNightmare: back up  
RoyalNightmare: what

AFieryDeath: He’s apparently in need of help.

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: did u tell noct i peed in bed

AFieryDeath: No.

\---

Brickshthouse: why is noct texting me about  
Brickshthouse: watersports

Lil_mr_sunshine: ffff

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: im p sure u said something

AFieryDeath: And?

Lil_mr_sunshine: id like to make it clear that im in full control of my bladder  
Lil_mr_sunshine: currently

AFieryDeath: Fantastic.

\---

RoyalNightmare: did u wet the bed

Lil_mr_sunshine: a salesperson thought iggy was my dad  
Lil_mr_sunshine: and no!!!!!

RoyalNightmare: is that y gladios been calling him daddy??  
RoyalNightmare: thank god i was afraid it was a weird sex thing  
RoyalNightmare: and what does that have to do with whatever is going on with u two right now

Lil_mr_sunshine: whats going on w iggy and me?

RoyalNightmare: igs is coming for u

Lil_mr_sunshine: is that supposed to be comforting or frightening

RoyalNightmare: the former

\---

RoyalNightmare: y didnt u tell me ignis

AFieryDeath: ???

RoyalNightmare: that ur a father

\---

Noctis heard barking. His heart jumped and he sped up, immediately confused as to why Umbra would be in the Citadel. He had only sent the dog away a day earlier, it was too soon to hope for a response from Lunafreya yet.

He followed the faint barking to the Crownsguard training grounds and the door was only just ajar.

“Who’s a good girl!” called a voice from inside.

Prompto?

Noctis edged quietly up to the door, tugging it open just enough to look through without making himself known.

Prompto was laughing, kneeling on the ground with his hands buried knuckle deep in soft pale fur. Pryna was wiggling in his grasp, seeking out just how she wanted to be petted before pawing at Prompto’s knees.

Noctis forgot to breathe. His best friend was petting a demi-god like it wasn’t heresy. Sure Noctis may have given Umbra few professional ear-scritches before for a job well done, but Pryna always stayed out of his reach. 

Pryna barked and Noctis remembered to draw breath. Prompto spread his arms out and Pryna jumped, knocking them both to the ground where she proceeded to stand atop him and lick at his face.

“Ow, organs!” Prompto wheezed, but he was laughing while trying to turn his face away from Pryna’s playful licking. She finally relented, hopping to the ground next to him and wagging her tail while she waited for him to start moving again.

“You got me, I’m dead now,” Prompto said with a deep sigh but reached a hand up, stroking Pryna’s fur from nape to flank. “Missed seeing you.”

Pryna turned, eyes resting on Noctis hiding behind the door like she knew he’d been there the whole time. She quirked her head at him, but Prompto didn’t seem to notice. Noctis suddenly felt like he was intruding. Pryna sat down, resting her front paws over Prompto’s chest possessively while she watched Noctis go.


	13. Camping is Always Awful

Prompto had never been camping before but Gladio assured him it would be fun. Noctis didn’t disagree, but neither did he seem to encourage Prompto to accept Gladio’s invitation. It was to be a three-day two-night trip just outside the city, and even Ignis had been coerced into coming along.

“Prompto.”

“Hm?” Prompto twisted from the front passenger seat of the car to face Noctis in the back.

“Gimme that,” Noctis ordered, holding out a hand for the half-eaten cookie in Prompto’s hand.

“Dude,” Prompto said but his hand wavered, halfway towards handing it to Noctis despite his objections. “You’re literally holding the bag, get your own.”

“These have coconut in them,” Noctis sighed, leaning forward and taking the treat from his friend’s hand physically. “You’re allergic to coconut.”

Prompto was quiet, his gaze unfocused while he processed the statement. Noctis had seen the blond eat two before he decided to try one for himself, realizing almost immediately there was a problem.

“You forgot you’re allergic to coconut again,” Noctis stated, tossing the remainder of the cookie out the car window. Ignis looked like it was painful somehow to have to listen to the exchange.

“That’s- I don’t think- Yup,“ Prompto started but stopped, turning back to face forward in his seat without finishing the thought.

“Again?” Gladio asked quietly, not looking up from his book.

“This happens like every six months,” Noctis answered just loud enough for Gladio to hear. “He keeps eating curry with coconut milk in it.”

Ignis took a deep steadying breath, focusing carefully on the road ahead. “Forgot?”

Prompto nodded, one leg bouncing restlessly.

“I’ve seen you eat popcorn weekly,” Ignis said.

“So?”

“It’s made with coconut oil?” Ignis said, strained.

“That would explain a few things,” Prompto said. “Unrelated, you wouldn’t happen to have any antihistamines?”

\---

Ignis, bless the Six, had antihistamines but remained unimpressed that Prompto had ‘poisoned’ himself on his cookies. Prompto was a bit itchy, sleepy, and pretty sure he wouldn’t be up for eating anything in the next twenty-four hours. He was given a pass by Gladio for setting up the tent, forcing Noctis to help instead.

“Are you sure this is a four-person tent?” Noctis whined, forcefully trying to thread tent poles though the canvas.

“It’s just for sleeping in, we’ll all fit,” Gladio rumbled, so deep into a scowl it was hard to take him seriously.

They all ‘fit’ in the tent, technically. The fit could not be described as comfortable. Gladio’s feet pressed into the tent wall, deforming the shape and lowering the ceiling. Noctis was between Ignis and Gladio, arms folded over his chest as both men were pressed against him on either side. Prompto was crammed in the corner of the tent next to Ignis, stifled by the angled tent ceiling closing in on him.

“This is fun,” Prompto said, knowing there was no way anyone was asleep.

“Four-person tent my ass,” Noctis hissed, a true testament to his discomfort that he wasn’t asleep already.

“It’s a little small,” Gladio admitted.

“Prompto, switch with me,” Noctis said, sitting up and Ignis and Gladio both had to shift to accommodate him.

“Fine, you wanna be in the ass crack of the tent be my guest,” Prompto said. Ignis snorted, not as asleep as he was pretending to be. Gladio shifted and the tent swayed precariously, pulling at Prompto’s back. Noctis cursed and laid back down.

“Just get some sleep already, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow,” Gladio sighed, rolling over and the tent poles clacked warningly.

\---

As it turned out ‘camping’ apparently also included ‘hunting’, a new concept in Prompto’s book. Sure, he knew it was a thing that happened outside Insomnia, but apparently no one had seen fit to fill him in on their camping schedule.

“Prompto, wake up!” Gladio roared, sticking close but keeping his eyes mostly on Noctis. They’d managed to wander into a pack of anaks and everything got intense all at once, not leaving time for strategizing.

Prompto had only managed to fire three bullets, none of which hit anything. He’d never had to fire a gun at anything alive before. He’d never been attacked by a wild animal before. He’d never had to fight with three other people to worry about before. It was a lot of firsts, and he was pretty sure his heart was going to pop.

Gladio swung his greatsword, nearly clipping Prompto who stumbled back. Prompto raised his pistol, taking shaky aim at the beast Gladio was currently holding off. He took a deep breath, took careful aim, and waited for the right moment. His nerve was failing him, his finger on the trigger locked up. He pressed his eyes shut and pulled the trigger.

Something heavy hit the ground and Prompto opened his eyes. Gladio had already turned, heading for the next target without so much as a look back at Prompto or the anak on the ground.

“Put it out of its misery already!” Gladio hissed, only half paying attention to Prompto.

“What?” Prompto said, panicked.

The wounded anak was on its side, legs kicking impotently while its chest heaved. Gladio huffed, clearly on his last nerve.

“You can’t leave it like that, just shoot it in the head,” Gladio said like he shouldn’t have to explain. “The longer you let it go the more it suffers.”

Before Prompto could say anything else Gladio was off, heading for Ignis and Noctis not far off while they finished up chasing the last few beasts away. Prompto looked down and his stomach roiled. His fingers were numb, he was sure he was going to throw up.

He raised the revolver in both hands. Something terrible was tearing at his insides and it wasn’t any lingering allergic reaction. The anak blinked up at him and he lined up the sights. In a firm hold he moved a finger from the guard to the trigger and pulled.

\---

Gladio realized slowly there was light. He opened his eyes. The tent was low, close to his face, so he turned to his side. Prompto was next to him, phone out illuminating his tired face. The blond looked at him, muttered a quiet apology, and shut off his phone.

“Time is it?” Gladio murmured. He remembered Prompto being uncharacteristically quiet over dinner, but he’d chalked it up to a lingering malaise from the coconut fiasco. It was even stranger to find him up in the middle of the night.

“Late,” Prompto whispered back. “Or early, I guess.”

“Everything okay?” Gladio whispered back.

“Sure.”

Gladio waited, resting his eyes while the kid next to him worked on whatever he needed to say.

“Gladio?” Prompto said, quiet and soft like he never was.

“Hm.”

“You ever had to hurt anyone? For the crown,” Prompto asked.

“A few,” Gladio said. “Haven’t had to kill anyone though.”

Gladio could practically feel Prompto tense, only a few inches away even though he couldn’t see him in the darkness.

“But I would, if I had to,” Gladio added.

“I don’t think I can do it,” Prompto said, voice low.

Gladio felt the heaviness of the conversation, something he’d never felt with Prompto before. It was heady, realizing that whatever he said in this moment was important. Prompto was hanging wide open, impressionable.

“I was born to be a Shield,” Gladio said. “You chose this.”

“But it feels like I’m in over my head. I guess I didn’t think… I didn’t think about it enough.”

“So do it for Noct.”

Prompto was silent.

“I’d do anything for my king,” Gladio said. “What would you do when he needs you?”

“Anything,” Prompto answered, barely hesitating.

“Then there you go. Get some sleep, you’ll feel better tomorrow.” Gladio reached out, palm landing on Prompto’s shoulder. “I’ll even tell Iggy not to cook anak for breakfast.”

Prompto groaned and shook Gladio’s hand off. He ruffled at blond locks he couldn’t see, getting a weak laugh and shove before they both lapsed into silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI I knew someone that consistently forgot their own allergy and kept eating the same fucking cookies like it was a surprise every time.


	14. Privacy Not Guaranteed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops my promnis is showing =X

Petiterror: i need your help

Lil_mr_sunshine: who is this?

Petiterror: Iris! 8)

Lil_mr_sunshine: o shit  
Lil_mr_sunshine: *heck

Petiterror: lol you’re funny

Lil_mr_sunshine: so wats up?

Petiterror: i need to ask you things  
Petiterror: boy things ;3

Lil_mr_sunshine: yikes  
Lil_mr_sunshine: uh  
Lil_mr_sunshine: u cant ask gladio?

Petiterror: def not family friendly  
Petiterror: can you keep this a secret?

Lil_mr_sunshine: probably not

Petiterror: >8(  
Petiterror: promise me you won’t say anything!!

Lil_mr_sunshine: ok ok  
Lil_mr_sunshine: mouth shut scouts honor

Petiterror: you were a boyscout?

Lil_mr_sunshine: no?

Petiterror: nvm  
Petiterror: anyways  
Petiterror: so i went out with this guy in my class last week

Lil_mr_sunshine: eesh

Petiterror: what?

Lil_mr_sunshine: y r u asking me again?

Petiterror: you’re the only older boy i know that isn’t family or royalty  
Petiterror: and my family doesn’t know i’m dating

Lil_mr_sunshine: fine fine  
Lil_mr_sunshine: go on

Petiterror: okay  
Petiterror: so we were at the movies but he kept leaving?  
Petiterror: to go the bathroom a lot  
Petiterror: he did it like three times  
Petiterror: and it took forever but he’d always be back out of breath like he was running and sweaty  
Petiterror: i tried google but nothing came up about it  
Petiterror: was he like working up the nerve to ditch me but kept coming back??  
Petiterror: or is that like  
Petiterror: a teenage boy thing?

Lil_mr_sunshine: theres no way i can answer that

Petiterror: why not? T.T

Lil_mr_sunshine: im going to end up on a list somewhere

Petiterror: idgi?

Lil_mr_sunshine: yes  
Lil_mr_sunshine: its a teenage boy thing  
Lil_mr_sunshine: never bring it up again  
Lil_mr_sunshine: also  
Lil_mr_sunshine: break up with him

Petiterror: what is that supposed to mean? =/  
Petiterror: Prompto???

Lil_mr_sunshine: teenage boys r awful  
Lil_mr_sunshine: i kno bc i am 1  
Lil_mr_sunshine: so like  
Lil_mr_sunshine: take my word for it  
Lil_mr_sunshine: u can do better

Petiterror: #^^# hehe ty for the advice  
Petiterror: but it didn’t mean he was going to ditch me or break up with me, right?

Lil_mr_sunshine: UGH  
Lil_mr_sunshine: no he likes u  
Lil_mr_sunshine: a little too much

Petiterror: ;O ?

Lil_mr_sunshine: thats all ive got to say about that  
Lil_mr_sunshine: tyvm

Petiterror: lol okay then  
Petiterror: our little secret, okay?

Lil_mr_sunshine: ya  
Lil_mr_sunshine: lets never talk about it again

Petiterror: lol

\---

Ignis remembered calling out of work sometime around 5am when a throbbing headache, raw throat, and low-grade fever woke him. He’d left a message that they shouldn’t expect him, took a dose of cold medicine, and fallen back into bed to sleep for a few more hours. He woke up some time later to the sound of crunching.

After several long seconds trying to determine if he was awake or not he located the sound. Prompto sat on the floor next to his bed, legs crossed and engrossed fully in whatever was happening on his phone. He was eating crackers.

“What the fuck.” 

It was all Ignis could articulate and it seemed to startle Prompto who looked up at him with wide eyes. Ignis did a quick check that he was still in his apartment, his bedroom door was open, and the lights in his living room were on. None of it explained what Prompto was doing on his bedroom floor.

“Cracker?” Prompto asked, holding out a single square and waving it like he was trying to be tempting. Ignis sat up and took it, not especially hungry but hoping to mollify Prompto.

“Noct said you called out sick,” Prompto said, sitting up on his knees and offering an explanation without being asked. “I wasn’t too busy so I thought I’d come roll your corpse outta bed.”

Ignis wiped a hand over his face, grimacing when he felt covered in dried sweat and grease.

“Whatcha need?” Prompto asked, leaning his elbows on the edge of the bed like he wasn’t intruding.

“Do I want to know how you got in here?” Ignis asked, lying back down.

“I told the doorman I was your son and he let me in.”

Ignis flinched and crushed the cracker he’d forgotten he was holding.

“Kidding, kidding! I picked the lock,” Prompto laughed and Ignis waited for him to say the last part was another joke.

“Locked doors really don’t stop you, do they?” Ignis sighed finally when it became clear that lock picking was not beyond Prompto’s ability or shame.

“You couldn’t keep me out even if you tried,” Prompto said with a smile, poking at Ignis’s hand until he let go of the cracker crumbs. “I brought soup, you want some?” he asked while brushing the crumbles from the bedspread into his cupped hand.

“You brought soup?” Ignis said, unsure if it was the strange situation or the cold that left him struggling to fully grasp what was going on.

“Yup! It didn’t even come out of a can,” Prompto said, standing and looking briefly for a trash can. When he didn’t find one he tugged a pocket open and poured in the broken crumbs while Ignis tried not to look troubled by the action. “I also brought crackers, gatorade, cough drops, and a really disgusting smoothie Gladio thought would help.”

“A smoothie?” Ignis asked warily, watching Prompto turn and dig through his ratty backpack to produce the stated items. He tossed a pack of opened crackers that landed on Ignis’s blanket above his legs, and a bag of cough drops that hit him in the chest.

“I mean, I saw him make it and I would not want it in my mouth,” Prompto said, grimacing and carefully extricating a clear sports bottle that Ignis recognized as one of Gladio’s. The liquid inside was concerningly gray and beginning to separate. “But if you want it I can probably look up the number for poison control before it kills you.”

Prompto set the bottle on the nightstand, watching the contents churn for a few seconds before he went back to digging in his bag.

“I think I’ll pass, thank you,” Ignis said.

“Good choice. Safe choice. I knew you were smart.”

Prompto brought him soup. He sat on crossed legs on the edge of Ignis’s bed while he ate. He brought him water, a second dose of medicine, his phone, disposed of Gladio’s smoothie with a running commentary on the capricious texture, all with a smile like he wasn’t the least bit bothered. Like he wanted to be there.

“You should go,” Ignis finally said when he realized it was already late in the afternoon. “Wouldn’t do to have you catch this cold.”

“I’ll be fine, quit worrying.” Prompto shrugged, back to sitting on the floor at his bedside. “But I can go if you want a nap or something. You gonna be alright on your own?”

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you,” Ignis said. “But your company was appreciated.”

“Anytime!” Prompto said, starkly genuine. He stood, slinging his now mostly empty pack over a shoulder. “Gimme a call if you need anything, I’ll probably be at the Citadel late tonight and that’s pretty close by so I can drop by if you need me.”

“You’ve left me with plenty to take care of myself with, thank you.”

“You know there’s no shame in wanting a little help, right?” Prompto said and he was out the door with a wink. Ignis heard a shout of ‘feel better Iggy!’ from the direction of his front door and Prompto was gone.

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: igs cursed at me  
Lil_mr_sunshine: it was so great

RoyalNightmare: what did u do to him??

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol i think i freaked him out being in his room  
Lil_mr_sunshine: he dropped the f bomb

RoyalNightmare: i have literally never heard him say that

Lil_mr_sunshine: i wish i had a video  
Lil_mr_sunshine: it was art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone needing it spelled out: Iris's date was jacking it in the bathroom. Once again drawing inspo from real life, back in ye olden days when I was in middle school and a friend had this experience. She knew what was up though so it was pretty funny.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, without gushing too much, thanks to every commenter T_T I am too reclusive to respond right now even though I type it all up like I can talk to real people and never post. I read them all and it feels great, so thanks to everyone that keeps commenting on each chapter, or only comments once to tell me what they like, just all of it. I've never hit 100+ comments before on a fic so that really means something to me. Thank you....!!


	15. Bath Time

As soon as Noctis walked in the door he stopped, confused.

“What are you doing?”

Ignis didn’t move from his place on the floor, flat on his back with his eyes closed and his arms at his sides. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Yoga.”

Noctis frowned, eyes finding Prompto. He was in the same position, laid out on the floor peacefully. It didn’t look quite right, Prompto was always moving, fidgeting, bouncing.

“Is he asleep?” Noctis asked.

“Undoubtedly,” Ignis said.

“…This doesn’t seem like yoga.”

“I assure you, it is,” Ignis said, perfectly lax and still. “This is the final pose where you take time to relax before completing practice.”

“Does sleeping count?” Noctis asked, walking around Ignis to stand next to Prompto. The blond didn’t move but the prince kept quiet, knowing what a light sleeper his friend was.

“Not really,” Ignis sighed. “But I suppose there is something to be said for being that relaxed.”

“I could do this,” Noctis murmured quietly, tiptoeing until he stood over Prompto, one foot on either side of his waist. He pulled out his phone and opened the camera app.

“I’m afraid the benefits of the last ten minutes are somewhat lessened if you don’t also complete the prior ninety minutes of legitimate exercise.”

“Geez, that long? Never mind,” Noctis muttered, crouching down over Prompto’s prone form to snap a closeup of his face. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“As always, I’m your captive audience.”

“You ever seen Prompto with a dog?”

“No,” Ignis answered immediately. “Why?”

“It’s nothing,” Noctis said, straightening and stepping back over Prompto, leaving him alone.

“You’re not going to wake him?”

“Should I?” Noctis stopped, turning back to look.

“Slam the door on your way out,” Ignis instructed, still immobile. “He likes it better when we both pretend he wasn’t sleeping.”

Noctis was glad Ignis still had his eyes closed when he couldn’t stop a helpless smile. It was cute when his friends got along. He banged the door shut noisily on his way out.

\---

RoyalNightmare: y r u doing yoga with ignis now?

Lil_mr_sunshine: he buys me lunch if i do it with him

RoyalNightmare: so ur doing it with him huh  
RoyalNightmare: he could at least buy u dinner first

Lil_mr_sunshine: u kno what i mean!!

RoyalNightmare: he buys u clothes  
RoyalNightmare: and u break into his apartment  
RoyalNightmare: where he says dirty words only for u  
RoyalNightmare: now u get lunch together after playing twister  
RoyalNightmare: i can read between the lines

Lil_mr_sunshine: lmao jelly much?

RoyalNightmare: im kidding :)  
RoyalNightmare: u two r cute

Lil_mr_sunshine: ok but 4 real  
Lil_mr_sunshine: we have a clothes-on relationship

RoyalNightmare: hm

Lil_mr_sunshine: hm urself  
Lil_mr_sunshine: r u shipping ur boyfriend and momfriend rn?  
Lil_mr_sunshine: what made u like this

RoyalNightmare: i thought he was the dad friend now

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol

\---

Noctis dropped his phone into the tub when his bathroom door swung open without warning. He glared up at Prompto, who thankfully shut the door.

“I have to pee and Ignis is in the kitchen,” Prompto explained, shuffling toward the toilet without much interest in Noctis occupying the tub.

“What does Ignis being in the kitchen… “ Noctis trailed off uneasily, fumbling under the water to find his phone.

“Like you’ve never peed in a sink before.”

“Dude, no.”

“What? It all goes to the same place,” Prompto said, unbuckling his pants and sitting on the toilet. “Quit watching, I can’t go if you’re watching.”

“Why are you sitting?”

“What’s wrong with sitting to pee?” Prompto challenged.

Noctis didn’t have an answer so he turned and tried to pretend he was alone. He found his phone after a quick shuffle, turning the faucet on rinse bubbles off the screen. He was glad Ignis had insisted he invest in a waterproof phone this time, he’d already lost a phone and two ereaders this way before.

Prompto flushed the toilet, noisily bucking his belt before sinking to his knees next to the tub.

“Bubble bath?” Prompto asked, reaching in to poke at the white foam.

“It’s fun sometimes,” Noctis admitted, lifting a hand and flicking water at the blond while his space was invaded.

“Is it? Never had one,” Prompto said, grabbing the prince’s hand and shoving it back under the water.

“Seriously?”

“No tub at the apartment.”

“You can take a bath here sometime, if you wanted.”

Prompto looked up at him, mischief twinkling somewhere in his eyes. Noctis set his phone on the edge of the tub.

“Not now,” Noctis said, extricating Prompto’s hand from his bathwater and guiding it outside the tub. “Ignis and Gladio are like twenty feet that way.”

“Oops,” Prompto said, knocking the phone back into the tub. “Lemme help you find that.”

Noctis slipped to the other side of the tub when Prompto dipped both arms into the water elbow deep. “Get out of my bath!” Noctis shouted, splashing and catching Prompto in the face. His blond hair sagged.

“Oh, it’s on,” Prompto said.

Prompto ended up in the tub fully clothed, the water level diminished after sloshing a great deal of it out of the tub.

“What’s wrong with you,” Noctis groaned, still trying to find his phone. It was futile with double the number of limbs in the water.

“You were right,” Prompto said. “This is fun. Hey, can I borrow some clothes?”

“I’m coming in there,” Gladio said three seconds before he opened the door. He had a hand over his eyes. “Everything covered?”

Noctis sank down in the water and Prompto sat up on his knees, putting a little distance between them. Noctis tried not to notice how his shirt clung in enticing ways, choosing instead to focus on how awful wet denim felt every time it brushed his thighs.

“Your eyes are safe!” Prompto announced. Gladio took a step forward and nearly slipped on wet tile.

“What the fuck Prompto,” Gladio said, when he finally noticed Prompto was still wearing fully sodden clothes. “You’re doing it wrong.”

“Get him out of the tub,” Noctis ordered. “He’s a fucking savage and doesn’t deserve nice things.”

Prompto looked offended but stood, water pouring off him and splashing it spitefully towards Noctis. Noctis kicked water, spraying nearly far enough to reach Gladio who did not look impressed.

“Alright children,” Gladio grumbled, dragging Prompto bodily out and away from the tub. “Quit it already, dinner’s ready. I swear if you splash me right now you’re both gonna regret it for at least a week,” he warned.

Ignis looked less than impressed when the three of them finally emerged, Prompto wearing the prince’s clothes with wet hair.

“Have a good bath, did we?” Ignis asked while plating food.

“Prompto defiled it,” Noctis grumbled.

“And how did the state of the rest of the bathroom fare?”

The resounding guilty silence spoke volumes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The true test of any good relationship: can you pee in the same room as them.


	16. just drop 'organ failure' in the convo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now: a drama unfolds entirely in text.

Lil_mr_sunshine: tell someone in charge i wont b e in 4 trnign til mon

Brickshthouse: why?

Lil_mr_sunshine: organ failure  
Lil_mr_sunshine: lol  
Lil_mr_sunshine: oops gtg  
Lil_mr_sunshine signed out.

Brickshthouse: wtf  
Brickshthouse: prompto??  
Brickshthouse: what does that mean?????

\---

Brickshthouse: have u talked to prompto today

RoyalNightmare: no

Brickshthouse: when did u see him

RoyalNightmare: last night  
RoyalNightmare: whats up?

Brickshthouse: nothing

\---

Brickshthouse sent AFieryDeath a screenshot.  
Brickshthouse: does this response concern you  
Brickshthouse: because I am a little worried

AFieryDeath: When was this?

Brickshthouse: like an hour ago  
Brickshthouse: tried calling him but i think his phones off

AFieryDeath: It’s probably nothing?  
AFieryDeath: If he’s not back in a few hours I can stop by his apartment on the way home.

Brickshthouse: fine

\---

RoyalNightmare: prom?  
RoyalNightmare: hey  
RoyalNightmare: come back :(  
RoyalNightmare: where r u?  
RoyalNightmare: message me when u get back on

\---

AFieryDeath: He’s not at home.

RoyalNightmare: so where is he?

Brickshthouse: what about his parents?

AFieryDeath: Couldn’t get a hold of them.

Brickshthouse: =/  
Brickshthouse: hospital?

RoyalNightmare: fuck  
RoyalNightmare signed off.

Brickshthouse: did u find him yet?

AFieryDeath: Calling hospitals now, nothing so far.

Lil_mr_sunshine signed on.

Brickshthouse: PROMPTO

Lil_mr_sunshine: woa  
Lil_mr_sunshine: u all need to calm down like a little bit

AFieryDeath: Where have you been???

Lil_mr_sunshine: dudes ive been gon like 7 hour  
Lil_mr_sunshine: thats like 1 minute

Brickshthouse: ‘organ failure’ is a little heavy

Lil_mr_sunshine: who told u that?

Brickshthouse: u did  
Brickshthouse: seven hours ago  
Brickshthouse sent a screenshot.

Lil_mr_sunshine: hm  
Lil_mr_sunshine: so i did

AFieryDeath: Care to enlighten us as to what happened in those seven missing hours?  
AFieryDeath: Hopefully explain ‘organ failure’ with a bit more detail.

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol ok

Brickshthouse: ‘lol ok’ /s

RoyalNightmare signed on.

RoyalNightmare: prompto  
RoyalNightmare: where r u right now

Lil_mr_sunshine: home  
Lil_mr_sunshine: ?

RoyalNightmare: r u asking me or telling me

Lil_mr_sunshine: i am at home 4 sure

RoyalNightmare signed out.

Lil_mr_sunshine: well that was ominous

AFieryDeath: Organ failure.

Lil_mr_sunshine: appendix  
Lil_mr_sunshine: the thing where it blows up?

AFieryDeath: Appendicitis.

Lil_mr_sunshine: that one

Brickshthouse: did u have surgery?

Lil_mr_sunshine: definitely

Brickshthouse: why are u home!

Lil_mr_sunshine: bc they let me go  
Lil_mr_sunshine: was that a trick question

AFieryDeath: How are you feeling?

Lil_mr_sunshine: great

AFieryDeath: I don’t believe that.

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol  
Lil_mr_sunshine: no rly i feel ok  
Lil_mr_sunshine: but also like i may not remember n e of this tmrw

Brickshthouse: well thats a good sign /s

AFieryDeath: Noct’s on the way over now  
AFieryDeath: Think you can let him in?

Lil_mr_sunshine: theres a 50% chance i left the door unlocked  
Lil_mr_sunshine: the more i thnk actully my keys arent here so  
Lil_mr_sunshine: probably still in the door  
Lil_mr_sunshine: if he could brink those in that would be grat

AFieryDeath: Do I need to come take you back to the hospital.

Lil_mr_sunshine: noooo  
Lil_mr_sunshine: its not even as bad as when u stabbed me  
Lil_mr_sunshine: this is way better than that

Brickshthouse: lol

RoyalNightmare signed on.

RoyalNightmare: his keys r in the door

Brickshthouse: lmao

AFieryDeath: At least someone is enjoying this.

Lil_mr_sunshine: ya this is fine  
Lil_mr_sunshine signed out.

RoyalNightmare: hes alive  
RoyalNightmare: im gonna kill him  
RoyalNightmare: ill stay with him tonight

AFieryDeath: I’ll drop by in the morning.

RoyalNightmare: come with a long angry lecture  
RoyalNightmare: he doesnt seem sorry at all for freaking us out

Brickshthouse: cmon he just had emergency surgery and u want him to apologize  
Brickshthouse: cut him some slack ur highness

AFieryDeath: If I had to guess, all the good stuff will have worn off by tomorrow morning.  
AFieryDeath: He will feel very sorry indeed.

RoyalNightmare: ;(  
RoyalNightmare: can i give him a potion or something?

AFieryDeath: I like to think that medical professionals would have done that themselves if it were a good idea.  
AFieryDeath: So  
AFieryDeath: Don’t

RoyalNightmare: fine  
RoyalNightmare: cya tomorrow then guys  
RoyalNightmare signed out.

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine signed on.  
Lil_mr_sunshine: im not coming in today

Brickshthouse: we have been through this  
Brickshthouse: u have a week off marshals orders

Lil_mr_sunshine: o  
Lil_mr_sunshine: k

Brickshthouse sent a screenshot.  
Brickshthouse: proof  
Brickshthouse: how r the drugs

Lil_mr_sunshine: gone  
Lil_mr_sunshine: :T

Brickshthouse: and the stomach

Lil_mr_sunshine: filleted

Brickshthouse: noct?

Lil_mr_sunshine: sleeping on the couch after he kneed me in the side

Brickshthouse: lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On that note I'm off to eat some of my birthday cake :) I guess ummm, I'm trying to reach out some, so if people have any questions about the fic leave it in the comments and I'll work up to replying? Not that this fic leaves a lot to be wondering about, oh well =X


	17. Play Me Like a Game

RoyalNightmare: ignis  
RoyalNightmare: igs  
RoyalNightmare: hey

AFieryDeath: What???

RoyalNightmare: come over

AFieryDeath: Have you looked at a clock recently?

RoyalNightmare: please?  
RoyalNightmare: we need u

AFieryDeath: We?

RoyalNightmare: proms here too  
RoyalNightmare: its important

\---

Ignis let himself in, as he often did. It was late, he’d put on a bare minimum of acceptable clothing over his pajamas before heading to Noctis’s apartment. He hoped that at least one of them was dead or dying to necessitate such an uncalled for visit.

When he rounded the corner Noctis and Prompto were staring at him wide eyed, both crammed under a single stretched blanket on the sofa. There was a sheet over the television, and every light in the place was on, including the oven light.

“Explain,” Ignis said, ready to turn around and leave already.

“We watched a horror movie,” Noctis said, quiet and serious. “It was a mistake.”

Ignis turned to leave.

“Don’tgodon’tgo!” Prompto nearly shouted, ducking out from under the blanket and running to head Ignis off by the door, bodily blocking him from leaving.

“What exactly am I supposed to do for the two of you?” Ignis said, managing not to call them idiots aloud.

“You’re like, a nonbeliever, so you’re safe,” Prompto explained desperately. “We need you to protect us.”

Ignis wanted to disagree. The knowledge that arguing against false logic would only take longer than to accept it and move on stopped him; he wanted to go home at some point. “What did you watch?”

“Sinister,” Noctis chimed from the couch, still swathed in blanket. Prompto danced on his feet like he was trying not to run back to the couch and hide. “It’s about a demon that lives in pictures and film.”

Ignis couldn’t stop the groan that escaped him. “Prompto, why in the name of all things holy would you watch a movie like that?”

“I don’t know,” Prompto whined like he might cry. “It was on TV and by the time we figured out that it was actually scary we were too far in! Then we thought maybe if we finished the movie it wouldn’t be as scary after, since we’d know what would happen? But oh man, it was bad. Like, the ending was the worst. I’m never gonna sleep again.”

Ignis stepped aside and Prompto rushed back to Noctis, throwing himself back onto the couch and lifting his feet to hug his knees.

“Right,” Ignis sighed. Noctis and Prompto were both staring at him expectantly. “How exactly am I supposed to protect you from this-?”

“Bughuul,” Prompto provided.

“Right. From the Bughuul,” Ignis said, trying not to sound as tired as he felt.

“Sleep with us,” Noctis said immediately.

“That’s a bit outside my specified duties.”

Ignis found himself laid out in Noctis’s bed. It was objectively not cute the way Noctis forced a sleeping arrangement where he was in the middle. The lights were all still on. Their clothes were all still on. The bed was barely big enough for three.

“Thanks Specs,” Noctis whispered, eyes already closed with his back to Prompto. He seemed fully content in his position.

Prompto peeked over the prince’s shoulder. “Yeah, thanks!”

“Don’t thank me,” Ignis said. “I expect compensation for this.”

“Whatever,” Noctis muttered, clearly already partway asleep.

\---

Brickshthouse: y is there a pineapple in your bed

RoyalNightmare: idk prompto did it

Brickshthouse: y??

RoyalNightmare: i don’t know y prompto does any of the things he does  
RoyalNightmare: also y r u in my bedroom

\---

Brickshthouse: explain the pineapple

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol  
Lil_mr_sunshine: u dont wanna kno

Brickshthouse: y not

Lil_mr_sunshine: its a sex thing

Brickshthouse: now im afraid

Lil_mr_sunshine: lmao!  
Lil_mr_sunshine: u got weird thoughts big guy

Brickshthouse: ok but rly y a pineapple

Lil_mr_sunshine: its supposed to make ur  
Lil_mr_sunshine: stuff  
Lil_mr_sunshine: taste not like garbage  
Lil_mr_sunshine: which an unidentified someone  
Lil_mr_sunshine: may have a problem with

\---

Brickshthouse: damn  
Brickshthouse: he burned you lmao

RoyalNightmare: how?

Brickshthouse: he says your spunk tastes like garbage  
Brickshthouse: the pineapple is supposed to help  
Brickshthouse: im dying ove rhere

\---

RoyalNightmare: dude

Lil_mr_sunshine: wut

RoyalNightmare: u know what!!

\---

Noctis watched his two friends spar. His phone was nearly out of battery and if he waited around quietly until they were done it was likely Ignis would be amenable to cooking dinner.

Ignis and Prompto moved well together, against each other. Noctis heard Prompto’s teasing voice in the back of his head somewhere, insisting that he was imagining his mom-friend and boy-friend together. 

Ignis was using practice blades, dull metal edges that couldn’t do any harm. He’d never quite forgiven himself for injuring Prompto, even if no lasting damage had been done. Prompto was training with a spring powered pistol, even shooting blanks was a little too risky when sparring with a live partner.

Prompto could dodge well enough by now, but he lacked finesse next to Ignis. He hit hard on the ground, rolling and taking a second to get his balance back once he was on his feet again. Ignis made it all look easy, landing on his feet and every move was intentional.

Prompto got some distance and took aim while Ignis brought a dagger back to throw. Prompto hesitated, Noctis saw him change his aim, just a split second where the muscles in his arm shifted. He missed Ignis and the dagger hit him in the shoulder with a dull thud. Noctis frowned.

Prompto picked up the dagger and tossed it back to Ignis with a laugh who caught it. They squared off again, Ignis rattling off some useless piece of advice that Prompto seemed to take in stride. Noctis watched more closely this time.

Come together. Break apart. Prompto dodged a tossed dagger this time, took aim, and again hesitated for just a split second. Ignis twisted and the shot missed.

???: Aw Prompto’s a good boy, isn’t he?

Noctis glared at his phone. Prompto and Ignis were still going, but Noctis couldn’t see Carbuncle anywhere in the arena. It was just Noctis, Prompto, and Ignis. Noctis called out, cheering Prompto on; it garnered a smile but the blond lost three more times to Ignis before they called it a night.

\---

“Whatcha playing?” Noctis asked, leaning close to get a look the screen of Ignis’s phone.

“A game.”

“That’s the puzzle one, right? Prompto plays that one a lot.”

“I’m aware,” Ignis said. “We’re playing right now.”

“Seriously?” Noctis scoffed, tugging out his own phone. “I don’t play with him anymore, got tired of losing every goddamn time.”

“Did you?” Ignis frowned. “I win most of the time.”

Noctis watched Ignis’s phone. It loaded and Prompto’s play came up, putting Ignis in the lead.

“...I must be thinking of some other game he’s good at,” Noctis said.

\---

Prompto was late. Ignis and Gladio had both already headed home for the night, so Noctis waited up for his last friend to show up. There was a plate of leftovers in the fridge with his name on it.

RoyalNightmare: i might be asleep wen u get here

Lil_mr_sunshine: im like 2 blocks away  
Lil_mr_sunshine: just hold on mr narcolepsy

RoyalNightmare: its his royal narcolepsy to u

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol

Noctis rolled off the couch and went to unlock his front door, standing in the doorway to hold it open while he waited. He heard Prompto before he saw him, noisily banging up the stairwell at the end of the hall for a full minute before he finally emerged.

“Stairs?” Noctis asked, holding his door open and stepping aside to leave room.

“Faster than the elevator,” Prompto said, out of breath while he brushed past the prince into his apartment. He had a black smudge under his right eye.

“Just take the elevator like a normal person,” Noctis said, chasing after him while the door fell shut behind him. “Your face is dirty.”

Prompto wiped at his cheeks but missed the smudge entirely. Noctis reached up, wiping the grit with the pad of his thumb while Prompto allowed it. With a bit of work he was clean again, gunpowder gone from his face. It wasn’t hard to guess where he was coming from.

“Hungry?”

“Starving,” Prompto said and smiled, wiping at his cheek one last time before heading for the kitchen. “Food in the fridge?”

“Yup, help yourself,” Noctis said, waving him off and falling back onto the couch. Prompto was back a few seconds later with a plate. “Ew, at least heat it up.”

“I like it cold,” Prompto said with a grin, sitting on the floor and setting his plate on the coffee table.

“Did you download the King’s Knight update today?”

“Was that today? Shit,” Prompto cursed through a mouth full of food. Noctis almost wished Ignis were there to glower at him for it. “I ran out of data so it probably didn’t download yet.”

“Did you use it all up playing with Ignis?” Noctis asked, realizing after that he didn’t sound as nonchalant as he wanted to.

“Probably,” Prompto replied, seemingly oblivious while he stood to plug his phone in the charger in the bedroom. Noctis waited, ruminating on his words.

“Do you like Ignis?” Noctis called. He could still hear Prompto knocking cords around in the bedroom.

“Sure, he’s cool.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Why, is that jealousy I hear in your voice?”

Prompto peeked out from the bedroom and Noctis pouted.

“Oh shit, you really are jealous,” Prompto laughed, not in the least bit chastised. “Are you afraid I’m crushing on your guy?”

“How do you keep letting him win if you’re not crushing on him?”

Prompto’s face went carefully blank.

“So you are letting him win,” Noctis said, sitting up. “I saw you in training, you were missing on purpose. Then with that stupid puzzle game-”

“-it’s not stupid!-”

“-you were throwing the match. Don’t lie to me I know what your lying face looks like.”

Prompto turned around, facing the wall. Noctis threw a pillow and he stumbled with an indignant cry.

“Fine!” Prompto turned around, folding his arms. “I like playing with Ignis so I lose some of the time so he’ll wanna keep playing with me.”

“Dude, he’s not going to hate you because you beat him in solitaire or whatever that game is.”

“I know that! But he’ll get tired of losing if I beat him all the time.”

“Aren’t you tired of losing?”

“Man, I’ve been a loser my entire life. If there’s anything that comes easy to me it’s losing,” Prompto laughed, sitting back down in front of his dinner. Noctis wanted to argue but couldn’t find the words.

“What about training? Don’t you need to like, win, at least some of the time,” Noctis sighed.

“You learn more losing a fight than winning it, most of the time anyways,” Prompto said through a fresh mouthful of food. “Plus he gets all cocky after he wins a fight, it’s cute.”

“So you do think he’s cute.”

“Ugh!”

“I’m gonna text him you said that.”


	18. Ironing Out the Kinks

“Shower sex.”

“Pass. Too dangerous,” Noctis said. “Road head. But like, actually that. Not video game head.”

“Skip. I don’t wanna die with a dick in my mouth,” Prompto groaned. “Watersports.”

“Ew, I thought-“

“That was a joke!” Prompto laughed. “I promise I was joking.”

Noctis rolled his eyes.

“Okay okay,” Prompto said. “What about lacy underwears.”

“Solid maybe.”

Prompto’s eyebrows raised, clearly surprised.

“Mile high club,” Noctis suggested.

“That’s sex on a plane, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure, if you wanna buy me an expensive plane ticket just to bang in a tiny public bathroom.”

Noctis’s face scrunched up.

“Is this just related to whatever publicity kink you have?” Prompto asked.

“I don’t have a publicity kink.”

“You’re popping wood if I even hold your hand in public,” Prompto insisted. “How about toys. Like a vibrator or something.”

“Isn’t that for girls?”

“Nah, it’s for anyone.” Prompto flipped to the next page in his magazine.

“I don’t think I want anything with batteries in my ass.”

“Just say pass.”

“Can’t things get stuck?”

“Dude, it’s fine. I get it. No foreign objects below your belt.”

Ignis had let himself in, choosing his timing poorly apparently. Noctis looked up at him from his seat on the couch, expression conveying that maybe Ignis didn’t want in on this conversation. Prompto was lying upside down, head hanging off the cushions with his legs thrown over the back of the couch. He was holding his photo magazine right-side up, looking fully engrossed.

“The magazine told him to try looking at it upside down,” Noctis explained with a shake of his head.

Ignis headed for the kitchen to start dinner. He took out his phone.

AFieryDeath: You didn’t tell him he could just flip the magazine?

Noctis took out his phone and sighed.

RoyalNightmare: i thought he was being cute at first but then maybe he was serious and it was too late to say anything

\---

Gladio was late heading out of the training grounds. He’d gotten caught up in the weight room, and by the time he was done he found someone had left the machine room a mess. In the time it would have taken him to find someone else for the job Gladio chose to just clean it himself.

Finally he was done so he flicked lights out as he was leaving. It was past midnight already, nobody should be in until morning. He hesitated upon seeing light from under the small arena doors. With a sigh he headed in that direction but stopped with his hand on the door knob, hearing someone inside.

“…Come on Prompto, you can do this.”

Gladio quietly turned the knob and opened the door just a crack.

“Just get it right.”

All the lights in the small arena were on. Prompto stood in the center with a training dummy a few feet off. Gladio watched him straighten his position, adjust for proper handling technique on his sword, and begin a stilting set of training sets.

Prompto tripped over his own feet and the sword clattered to the ground. Gladio shrunk back so he wouldn’t be seen.

“Fuck!” Prompto shouted. He picked up the sword, making the motion look difficult.

Gladio could see even from a distance Prompto was sweaty and tired. His hair was flat, the same way he used to wear it back in high school. Thinking back through the day he tried to pinpoint exactly how long Prompto might have been at this. The blond had already been in when Gladio arrived just before lunch.

“Just quit messing up,” Prompto muttered to himself. He took stance and started over. Four steps in he overextended and clipped the training dummy, knocking the sword out of his hands again.

He growled to himself in frustration, made a move like he was going to kick the dummy over but stopped, and went to pick up the sword again. Pacing over his starting mark Prompto caught his breath, idly passing the sword from hand to hand.

“You can do this,” Prompto said more quietly, only just loud enough Gladio could hear. “It’s not that hard. Just do it right once and you can go home and-“ he stuttered “-ugh, walk home and cook dinner or something. Shit.”

Gladio remembered breaking for dinner hours ago. 

“Do it right,” Prompto said with more vigor and raised the sword. His arms shook. Another misstep and the sword twisted wrong, hitting his shin with a dull clank. Gladio was impressed at least that he didn’t drop the blunt training weapon, it would have felt like being hit with a bat.

Prompto limped towards the training dummy, expression hard but eyes shining. He gripped the sword like a polearm and shoved it through the burlap with brute force until it was fully impaled. With the sword sheathed he tipped the mannequin over with a clatter and sank to the floor, sitting and wrapping his palms around his sore shin.

Prompto took a shaky breath and Gladio realized he wasn’t supposed to see this. He closed the door as quietly as he could and tiptoed back a few steps. Counting to three he stomped his way back towards the door and made a noisy show of shoving at the door before opening it.

Prompto was on his feet again, one foot pressed to the mannequin while he hurriedly pulled the sword free of it.

“Didn’t know you were still in here,” Gladio lied. “Bit late, isn’t it?”

“Uh, yeah,” Prompto said, shakily righting the dummy. “How late is it?”

“Late,” Gladio said. “Time to go home.”

Prompto looked at him uncertainly, wiping his brow with the back of his hand.

“I was gonna pick up some food on the way home. Wanna tag along?” Gladio offered, hoping he sounded casual enough.

Prompto shifted to his good leg idly while considering the offer. Gladio pretended not to notice.

“My treat,” Gladio added.

Prompto gave a thin smile like he knew exactly what Gladio was doing. After a deep breath he nodded and dropped the practice sword next to the dummy.

“Come on,” Gladio admonished. “At least clean up. I just finished cleaning up after some asshat in the machine room.”

“I’m usually the first one in. I’ll just clean it up tomorrow when I get in.” Prompto shrugged.

Gladio grumbled but left it, shutting off the lights and leading Prompto out of the training grounds for at least a few hours.

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine sent a photo.

RoyalNightmare: HAHA  
RoyalNightmare: thats my new wallpaper

AFieryDeath: I see you garnered a crowd in the background.

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol

RoyalNightmare: how did u get him to do that  
RoyalNightmare: i want him to lift me next

AFieryDeath: NO.

Lil_mr_sunshine: i was trying to tell him how bad of a choice for spotter i am  
Lil_mr_sunshine: since he can bench press more than my entire body  
Lil_mr_sunshine: and he was like ‘puny human’

RoyalNightmare: haha

Lil_mr_sunshine: and he said he could do an overhead press  
Lil_mr_sunshine: it was a photo op

RoyalNightmare: did u feel tall

Lil_mr_sunshine: stfu

AFieryDeath: You look afraid in that photo.

Lil_mr_sunshine: i thought he was going to drop me lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a short break because I was writing a smutty Promnis oneshot in this same fic universe :) Check out next in the series if interested!


	19. Prompto is Definitely on a List Somewhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I want to write intense-drama I try to keep it drama-lite for this fic :)

Petiterror: I need your help

Lil_mr_sunshine: this isnt about boys again is it

Petiterror: no  
Petiterror: yes  
Petiterror: not really

Lil_mr_sunshine: well that clears everything right up

Petiterror: are you busy on Saturday?

Lil_mr_sunshine: tell me y and ill decide

Petiterror: I need a date for this school dance

Lil_mr_sunshine: o shit  
Lil_mr_sunshine: *shoot  
Lil_mr_sunshine: im v busy  
Lil_mr_sunshine: esp sat

Petiterror: lol  
Petiterror: so there’s this girl who’s a total b

Lil_mr_sunshine: a what

Petiterror: x)  
Petiterror: she keeps talking about how she’s so hot bc she’s bringing a senior  
Petiterror: and everybody thinks she’s so cool even though her date is a total stoner dudebro  
Petiterror: so I might have told everyone I was bringing a crownsguard  
Peititerror: I just needed to shut her up bc if I hit someone again I get suspension

Lil_mr_sunshine: im not even a real crownsguard yet  
Lil_mr_sunshine: cant u bring gladio?

Petiterror: this is not the kind of dance you want your family at

Lil_mr_sunshine: oh geez

Petiterror: can you please just show up for like five minutes?  
Petiterror: I will owe u big time

Lil_mr_sunshine: do u remember how last time i said i was going to end up on a list  
Lil_mr_sunshine: it will b the obituaries if i even pretend to date u

Petiterror: pleeeeeeeeaseeeeee  
Petiterror: you will make me the coolest girl in school

Lil_mr_sunshine: UGH  
Lil_mr_sunshine: u brought out the big guns  
Lil_mr_sunshine: fine  
Lil_mr_sunshine: but srsly we r never telling anyone

Petiterror: deal! 8)

\---

Brickshthouse: y is prom being so squirrely today

AFieryDeath: More than normal?

Brickshthouse: like hes about to start shitting acorns

\---

AFieryDeath: Have you talked to Prompto today?

RoyalNightmare: is this abt the nail polish

AFieryDeath: It wasn’t.  
AFieryDeath: But now  
AFieryDeath: Nail polish?

RoyalNightmare: he has blue fingernails

AFieryDeath: Why?

RoyalNightmare: u know what  
RoyalNightmare: i didnt even ask

\---

AFieryDeath: I have to know.  
AFieryDeath: Nail polish?

Lil_mr_sunshine: iris said it was cool?  
Lil_mr_sunshine: also maybe threatened me a little

AFieryDeath: Since when do you spend time with Iris?

Lil_mr_sunshine: never  
Lil_mr_sunshine: plz dont mention 2 gladio

AFieryDeath: My lips are sealed.

Lil_mr_sunshine: did u kno girls cut off that skin bit at the bottom of ur nails?  
Lil_mr_sunshine: its awful and i was not prepared  
Lil_mr_sunshine: 0/10 would not recommend

AFieryDeath: It’s called a cuticle.

Lil_mr_sunshine: w/e i dont have that anymore

AFieryDeath: It grows back?

\---

“Prompto?”

“Hm?” he hummed, looking entirely distracted while they stood together a few steps from the door.

“They’re all fourteen,” Iris said, half comforting and half concerned. “Trust me, they’ll be impressed with you.”

“I remember what fourteen-year-olds are like,” Prompto said, sounding haunted. “And they are not always nice.”

“Hey,” she said, hooking an arm around his elbow. “Think of it this way. If it came down to a free for all we could destroy every single person in that room, just the two of us.”

“Is that likely?” Prompto grimaced, looking down at her. The eyeliner Iris had so painstakingly applied was already smudged since he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off his face. 

“You’re so funny,” Iris laughed. Prompto managed a weak terrified giggle before he had to remember what breathing was like.

“Come on, our public awaits,” she said and tugged him forward. He weakly resisted but trudged on next to her when her iron grip didn’t relent. He had a powerful memory of the fateful suplex. It hadn’t been so long since then.

At the door Iris handed an unhappy looking chaperone two tickets. The chaperone tore them in half and glared at Prompto with an exhaustion beyond words. Iris didn’t seem to notice, too excited to drag him inside.

\---

RoyalNightmare: prom  
RoyalNightmare: come over  
RoyalNightmare: im bored  
RoyalNightmare: i know ur not busy on a sat night  
RoyalNightmare: play with me  
RoyalNightmare: reply  
RoyalNightmare: i order u to stop ignoring me

Lil_mr_sunshine: i am so busy

RoyalNightmare: liar  
RoyalNightmare: if ur at the training grounds again im going to send gladio over to kick ur ass  
RoyalNightmare: prom?  
RoyalNightmare: where r u?

Lil_mr_sunshine: hell probably

RoyalNightmare: wtf?  
RoyalNightmare: prompto what does that mean  
RoyalNightmare: if ur at the hospital again im going to be mad  
RoyalNightmare: or a little worried  
RoyalNightmare: cmon man just respond

Lil_mr_sunshine sent a photo.

RoyalNightmare: where is that?  
RoyalNightmare: r u wearing makeup?  
RoyalNightmare: prom u cant just drop that and leave

\---

Noctis found Prompto under the bleachers in the large arena the next morning, sleeping with a sweatshirt draped over his head. He kicked the bottom of his boot and Prompto jolted, tearing the clothing off his face. Under his eyes was still smudged with black, just a little.

“Noct?” Prompto grumbled, letting his head fall back. “Ugh, you scared me. Thought you were the marshal or somethin’.”

“You gonna tell me where you were last night?” Noctis asked, folding his arms over his chest and staring down at his friend.

“It’s a secret,” Prompto said through a yawn. Noctis pouted. “I can’t have my own life?”

Noctis straddled his chest and knelt down to sit on top of the blond’s sternum. Prompto wheezed and shoved at him but not hard enough to dislodge the prince.

“You weren’t doing anything bad, right?” Noctis asked, leaning over him menacingly.

“That’s debatable,” Prompto said, finally settling with his arms resting over Noctis’s thighs. “Nothing illegal though.”

Noctis reached forward and took Prompto’s face in his hands. Prompto frowned but let him, so he wiped at the black smudges under his eyes. Prompto’s skin went red from the rubbing, and there was still some caught in his eyelashes, but he got most of the leftover eyeliner off. The prince wiped his thumbs on his pants while Prompto blinked up at him.

“You’re really not going to tell me?”

Prompto looked torn. Finally he let out a withering sigh and shook his head.

“Fine,” Noctis said and stood. He left Prompto under the bleachers.


	20. Forgiveness is Not a Given

Lil_mr_sunshine: aw u got a deadbolt  
Lil_mr_sunshine: how cute

AFieryDeath: Don’t you dare.

\---

AFieryDeath: Have you ever had an issue with Prompto and personal space?

Brickshthouse: every day

AFieryDeath: How do you handle it?

Brickshthouse: nothing works he does not back off  
Brickshthouse: he has zero danger alarm with people  
Brickshthouse: im pretty sure he would get into a white van if offered candy

AFieryDeath: I see.  
AFieryDeath: This will be the second time he’s broken into my apartment.

Brickshthouse: get better locks?

AFieryDeath: I did.  
AFieryDeath: It didn’t work.  
AFieryDeath: Is it too much to hope that my own home would be private property?

Brickshthouse: yes

\---

AFieryDeath: How do I make it stop.

Lil_mr_sunshine: i have no idea what ur talking about ;P

AFieryDeath: I will break it again myself if you don’t come make it stop.

Lil_mr_sunshine: aw but it was more work to get it to make the noise than it was to fix the drippy parts D;

AFieryDeath: As much as we all appreciate chocobos I have no desire to endure their honking in exchange for every cup of coffee.

Lil_mr_sunshine: fine fine  
Lil_mr_sunshine: ill come re-fix it

AFieryDeath: See that you do.  
AFieryDeath signed off.

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: i donked up  
Lil_mr_sunshine: can u buy igs an expensive new coffee machine and pretend it was from me

RoyalNightmare: i thought u fixed it

Lil_mr_sunshine: i improved it  
Lil_mr_sunshine: but the improvements aren’t really  
Lil_mr_sunshine: reversible  
Lil_mr_sunshine: and trying to fix them maybe have broken it beyond repair ;(

RoyalNightmare: no

Lil_mr_sunshine: ?

RoyalNightmare: we r fighting

Lil_mr_sunshine: seriously?

RoyalNightmare signed off.

Lil_mr_sunshine: noct? ;(

\---

Brickshthouse sent a photo.  
Brickshthouse: u better have a really good explanation for this one

Lil_mr_sunshine: photoshop

Brickshthouse: i will break u

Lil_mr_sunshine: D;

Brickshthouse: prompto argentum y r u in that photo of my sisters school dance

Lil_mr_sunshine: its an old photo?

Brickshthouse: lie one more time and i will go to the marshal

Lil_mr_sunshine: what!  
Lil_mr_sunshine: gladio no  
Lil_mr_sunshine: this doesnt have anything to do w crownsguard!

Brickshthouse: then tell me y ur hanging out with my kid sister and school children  
Brickshthouse: right. now.

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: iris help  
Lil_mr_sunshine: call off gladio hes gonna kill me

Petiterror: oh no!  
Petiterror: he found out?

Lil_mr_sunshine: yes and he is scaring me

Petiterror: he’s at the citadel but I’m home so idk what to do :C

Lil_mr_sunshine: well fuck  
Lil_mr_sunshine: *frick

\---

Brickshthouse: im waiting  
Brickshthouse: the truth usually doesn’t take so long to come up with

Lil_mr_sunshine: can u lay off me like a little bit  
Lil_mr_sunshine: idk what u want me to say here

Brickshthouse signed off.

Lil_mr_sunshine: fff clearly that was wrong

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine: if i disappear tell the police it was  
Lil_mr_sunshine: actually  
Lil_mr_sunshine: it could be anyone

Petiterror: 8C

Lil_mr_sunshine: everyone hates me right now so

Peititerror: I don’t!

Lil_mr_sunshine: thanks

Petiterror: I will beat gladdy up for you when he gets home!!

Lil_mr_sunshine: lol avenge me

Petiterror: <3

\---

Prompto was practicing alone. He couldn’t quite bring himself to head home, and he didn’t have anywhere else to be, so he stayed. 

In a moment of combined exhaustion and genius he had moved on to practicing with birdshot and balloons in the smaller arena when it was late and the training grounds were empty. It was as close to a moving target system as he could get inside Insomnia’s walls. Plus popping a ton of balloons felt pretty good, even when you were tired.

“Hey.”

Prompto dropped his gun and it went off with a pop, skittering a foot away but thankfully not managing to hit anything.

Noctis was standing by the door, lips pursed and hands in his pockets. He was glancing between the gun on the floor and Prompto’s face. Prompto stared at the prince, not knowing what to say. 

They hadn’t spoken in five days, the longest Prompto could remember in their entire friendship. He’d been avoiding his phone and hadn’t signed on to messenger in days, too afraid to seek out any of his friends. It was too hard to handle rejection so he tended to avoid any circumstance where he might be subjected to it.

“Practicing late again?” Noctis asked. Three words. It felt like an achievement.

A balloon bumped against Noctis’s feet and he gave it a little kick, looking confused when he finally noticed the balloons bouncing around the room slowly.

“Balloons?”

Prompto shook himself out and picked up his gun, flicking the safety on. Noctis had spoken and he still hadn’t said anything back. He couldn’t be silent forever.

“Uh, yeah,” Prompto said, breathless. “They bounce around so, you know, moving targets.”

Noctis nodded, face carefully blank.

“Let’s go a round.”

“What?” Prompto said, immediately alarmed.

“For practice. Moving targets.”

Noctis kicked balloons on the way to the center of the arena and they disappeared into his armiger. Prompto didn’t think to ask what he was doing, he just watched the prince meander his way to a starting position.

Noctis squared off across from him and Prompto let his gun drop back into the ether.

“Bring it back,” Noctis ordered with a frown. “It’s just birdshot, right?”

Prompto suddenly understood Noctis wanted to fight. In all his training he’d only sparred with Noctis twice, and neither time they had been serious about it. Noctis was strong, he’d been training for battle almost his entire life and was good enough to take Gladio down in a fight if he really wanted to. Prompto had never been in a position to worry about what his best friend could do to him before.

Noctis swept his arm out and Prompto felt familiar weight settle in his hand; his gun, Noctis had retrieved it for him.

Noctis put an arm out straight in front of him, fingers relaxed. A balloon sparked into existence ten feet to Prompto’s right and began slowly sinking towards the ground.

“Shoot it.” Noctis’s face didn’t betray anything.

Prompto raised his arm, clicked off the safety, and with a pull of the trigger the balloon was gone. He looked back to Noctis. Another balloon; he didn’t have to be told to shoot it this time. If this was what the prince wanted, he could do that.

Noctis approached him with confident strides and Prompto backed up. A balloon appeared between the two of them and Prompto took aim before letting his gun drop back into the armiger. Noctis took three long steps closer and batted the balloon aside, swinging for Prompto with a fist.

The blond dodged, stumbling away. He took a breath to ask ‘what the hell’ but Noctis was still coming at him, determined, and Prompto had to focus on not getting his ass kicked.

It wasn’t like training, he couldn’t fight back, not against the crown prince. Hand to hand wasn’t his forte to begin with and with the way Noctis could move faster than the blink of an eye it was all he could to do stumble away or hastily block with an arm.

“Aren’t you going to fight back?” Noctis said, voice thick with frustration.

“No!” Prompto gasped. “I never want to fight you!”

Noctis hesitated and Prompto kept his arms up, not running. He swept at the blond’s feet and Prompto stumbled. With a quick warp he slammed a shoulder into Prompto, knocking him off balance and throwing him to the floor. Prompto stayed down.

Looking down at his best friend Noctis couldn’t remember what he had been angry about anymore. 

“That’s enough.”

Both of them jumped at the intrusion. Cor stood in the doorway, arms carefully folded behind his back and shoulders straight.

“Argentum, with me,” Cor said and Prompto sank, lying back fully to the floor looking miserable. He took a deep breath and stood, shuffling towards the Marshal.

“Cor, listen. This is-“ Noctis started to say but Cor cut him off.

“Your highness,” Cor said so sharply the two boys flinched. The Marshal waited a few seconds for another protest before he held the door open for Prompto. “Good night.”

Prompto cast a despondent look back to Noctis before Cor shut the door and left Noctis alone in a room full of balloons.

\---

Prompto was trying not to cry. There was something poetic, he thought, about meeting the Marshal for the first and last time in such similar states. He just had to shoot himself in the foot one more time on the way out. He couldn’t bring himself to look up from his boots, sitting quietly across from Cor’s desk.

“Calm down,” Cor sighed. The words did nothing to soothe Prompto’s nerves. He knew what was coming; he was getting fired, finally.

“How long have you been in training?” Cor finally asked. 

“Um.” Prompto had trouble corralling his thoughts to find a definable number. “Since graduation, so like… a few months?”

Cor nodded, pensive. “You spend too much time here.”

Prompto wasn’t sure if he was supposed to agree or not so he stayed silent.

“If I signed this paperwork to approve you for active duty on the Crownsguard right now, what would your gut reaction be?”

Surprise. Prompto finally looked up at the Marshal. He was watching the blond, hands folded together into a tight fist that he rested his chin against.

“Is it what you’d want?” Cor continued. “Or would you be happier if I discharged you and sent you on your way?”

“I don’t-” Prompto stumbled over his own tongue, words tangled up over the thought of failure Cor had just laid in front of him. “I don’t think I understand, sir.”

“I’m asking what you really want to do.”

Because you don’t think I can do this. Prompto didn’t say it.

“You’re giving me an out?” Prompto asked, quiet. He was suddenly aware of the hour; he was tired and it had to be so late that the Marshal was up early to find him here.

“I’m telling you that just because the prince wants you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it,” Cor said. “And that just because you worked hard to be good at something doesn’t mean you can’t leave it behind and go be good at something else.”

Prompto wanted to ask if Cor meant what he was implying, but his mouth wouldn’t move.

“So,” Cor continued, carefully sliding two sheets of paper across the desk towards Prompto. “Which one should I sign?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably finish this one up with one more chapter, but I already have a few ideas to add maybe in a sequel :) Don't worry, the boys will all make up!


	21. The Wrap Up

Prompto finally went home. He didn’t run into anyone on the way out of the Citadel, or at the bus stop, or even on the first bus away from city center. Everywhere was deserted this early in the morning. The sun was only just coming up by the time he unlocked his front door. His phone was out of battery, had been for a while now, but he left it on the kitchen counter and headed straight for the sofa.

It wasn’t a very good sofa, he reflected while falling backwards over the armrest, but it had always been there. Ignis’s leather sofa in his office at the Citadel was probably more comfortable than his bed, but he hadn’t felt daring enough to sneak in for a nap recently. Even if the sofa in his apartment was uncomfortable, at least it was home.

He closed his eyes and lay somewhere between awake and asleep, too aware to dream but asleep enough to lose time. When he was younger and still wanted his foster parent’s attention he’d sleep on the sofa while he waited for them to get home late. Somewhere in the back of his mind it felt the same, like soon he wouldn’t be alone anymore. He just had to wait.

A knock on the front door made him jump. He’d forgotten to turn the lights on and it was still dark inside.

“Who is it?” Prompto called.

“It’s me.” Noctis called back, voice low and hard to hear through the door.

Prompto took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. “It’s open.”

The hinges squeaked pretty badly on the front door when it swung open, and Noctis scuffed his feet the way he always did on linoleum.

“Prompto?”

“In here.”

Noctis turned on the kitchen light and it was enough to illuminate most of the living room too. Prompto didn’t bother getting up, too tired and comfortable lying on his back. He could see when the prince came to stand at the join of tile and carpet before stopping. He kept his distance.

“What’s up?” Prompto asked, doing his very best to sound normal. Noctis looked shamed. Prompto had seen the look before, usually after Ignis or Gladio yelled at him for something, but he’d never been the recipient before.

“I bought Iggy a new coffee maker,” Noctis said, folding his arms before unfolding them and tucking his hands into his pockets. “I mean- I bought it but I said it was from you.”

“Think he believed you?”

Noctis’s face twisted and his shoulders sagged and Prompto smiled.

“So,” Noctis said reluctantly. “I came by to say… sorry? Or, I guess- yeah. I was going to apologize and hope we’re done fighting.”

“Yeah,” Prompto sighed. “I guess I’m sorry too. I should have told you I was on a date with Iris on Saturday.”

Prompto watched carefully while Noctis absorbed his explanation. He clearly was trying to show no emotion visibly, but it only read as confused panic deep somewhere in his eyes.

“Fake date,” Prompto clarified after he was satisfied watching the prince squirm for a precious few seconds. “She wanted to look cool at the dance and apparently surviving to the age of nineteen makes me boyfriend material.”

Noctis let out a whoosh of air and put a steadying hand on the wall for support while he sagged with relief. Prompto couldn’t help but laugh at his expense.

“Is that why Gladio’s nose was all busted this morning?”

“Iris said she’d beat him up for me,” Prompto said. “I didn’t think she meant that literally though.”

“Are we good?” Noctis asked, looking like he very much wanted to cross the room and head straight for his friend.

“Do I look mad?”

Noctis shook his head morosely and Prompto smiled.

“So I’m not mad.”

Noctis kicked off his boots and trudged his way towards Prompto, climbing onto the couch and depositing himself directly on top of the blond. Prompto rolled them to the side, keeping them face to face, and put an arm around Noctis’s waist to hold onto him and keep him from falling off the side.

“Your parents home?” Noctis asked, twisting around to check the rest of the dark apartment in a hopeful way. Noctis always did have trouble saying ‘foster’.

“Nah,” Prompto said, missing a beat while he had to think hard about saying any more. “They don’t live here anymore.”

Noctis turned back to face him, eyes big and blue and confused. “…You’re living alone?”

Prompto nodded, not sure if he had the fortitude to keep his voice steady enough for a verbal reply.

“Since when?”

Prompto shrugged and swallowed to buy a few seconds of composure. “Few months.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Noctis looked hurt so Prompto struggled not to mirror it.

“It never came up,” Prompto said like he hadn’t had to choke it down every time someone asked him why he didn’t head home already. “When I turned eighteen I lost foster benefits, so they couldn’t afford to stay in Insomnia.”

“Where’d they go?”

“They ghosted me.” Prompto shook his head. “Are you mad I didn’t say anything?”

“Idiot.” Noctis wiggled closer and threw an arm over Prompto’s neck, loosely gripping at him. “Of course I’m not mad.”

Prompto rested a hand between Noctis’s shoulder blades, tapping out a slow rhythm over the bumps of his spine. He could feel tension building in the prince’s shoulders so he waited, face buried in his collarbone.

“Okay I’m a little mad,” Noctis finally admitted and let go. “But mostly because that explains a lot of things that I feel like I should have figured out sooner.”

“It’s okay,” Prompto said. “I like being the smart one in the relationship anyway.”

Noctis kneed him in the thigh and Prompto shoved, knocking him off the edge of the sofa and onto the carpet.

“I guess I deserved that,” Noctis grumbled, sitting up and resting his elbows on the edge of the couch. He looked ruffled. “I did get you fired again.”

“Fired?”

Noctis frowned at him.

“I got like, the opposite of fired.”

Something clicked on Noctis’s face and he jumped to his feet, hovering over Prompto while he buzzed with uncharacteristic energy. “Did Cor finally approve you?”

Prompto nodded, too tired to reciprocate that much enthusiasm, and Noctis dove at him. He mashed their mouths together in something that could loosely be considered a kiss, hands unsure if he wanted to be in Prompto’s hair or pulling at his shirt or holding his hands. Prompto felt smothered and pinned down with the intensity of it.

“Oh you’re beautiful thank Gods you did it-“ Noctis was muttering almost unintelligibly directly into whatever skin he could get his mouth on while Prompto squirmed with laughter. “-thank you thank you thank you.”

\---

Brickshthouse: im sorry  
Brickshthouse: i should not threaten ppl anymore  
Brickshthouse: pls tell iris u got this  
Brickshthouse: prom?

\---

AFieryDeath: Thank you for asking Noct to buy me a new coffee machine.  
AFieryDeath: I appreciate the sentiment.  
AFieryDeath: And congratulations?

\---

Petiterror: did glady apologize or is he making that up?  
Petiterror: Promto?

\---

Brickshthouse: do u know where prom is?

RoyalNightmare: yes  
RoyalNightmare: we r at his apt

Brickshthouse: can i come over  
Brickshthouse: everybody at my house hates me

RoyalNightmare: no hes sleeping

Brickshthouse: do u have his phone?  
Brickshthouse: im desperate here

RoyalNightmare: haha i guess

Brickshthouse: just text iris like u r him and everything is ok

RoyalNightmare: brb  
RoyalNightmare signed off.

\---

Lil_mr_sunshine signed on.  
Lil_mr_sunshine: i am fine!

Petiterror: :D

Lil_mr_sunshine: gladio apologized  
Lil_mr_sunshine: u should think about forgiving him  
Lil_mr_sunshine: :)

Petiterror: maybe later ;P

\---

AFieryDeath: Hey

Lil_mr_sunshine: i need ur help  
Lil_mr_sunshine: oops  
Lil_mr_sunshine: this is noctis

AFieryDeath: Where is Prompto?

Lil_mr_sunshine: sleeping  
Lil_mr_sunshine: hang on  
Lil_mr_sunshine signed off.

\---

RoyalNightmare signed on.

Brickshthouse: did she go for it

RoyalNightmare: not really

Brickshthouse: damn  
Brickshthouse: can i come over now?  
Brickshthouse: igs already told me no

RoyalNightmare: fine  
RoyalNightmare: bring dinner tho

Brickshthouse: deal

RoyalNightmare: good dinner

Brickshthouse: alright?

RoyalNightmare: its for celebrating  
RoyalNightmare: prom got approved for cg

Brickshthouse: bull  
Brickshthouse: shit  
Brickshthouse: i owe iggy $

\---

RoyalNightmare: iggy

AFieryDeath: ?

RoyalNightmare: ignis

AFieryDeath: ???

RoyalNightmare: i need ur help  
RoyalNightmare: can u stop an instagram account?

AFieryDeath: Is it yours?

RoyalNightmare: no but its of me

AFieryDeath: I think I know the one.

RoyalNightmare: do u?????  
RoyalNightmare: it is all pics of my ass  
RoyalNightmare: prompto apparently follows it

AFieryDeath: That account is a gift, and I would not wish it gone for love or money.

RoyalNightmare: wow  
RoyalNightmare: thanks for having my back  
RoyalNightmare: stop  
RoyalNightmare: i feel u typing an backside joke

AFieryDeath: .

RoyalNightmare: night  
RoyalNightmare: traitor  
RoyalNightmare signed off.

\---

The uniform looked good on him, Cor thought, even if he did look like a kid wearing a soldier’s uniform. He was bright and slim and it didn’t match the drab formal attire he now wore. Maybe he’d grow into it.

Cor had been on his way out for the night when he heard banging from the machine shop. In a moment of chest clenching dread he remembered Prompto Argentum had been assigned to those facilities when door guarding duty had proved too stationary for his temperament. Opening the door had revealed Prompto, still in once piece, and the machine shop still in relative order.

Prompto had a pair of earbuds in, swaying idly over the same broken gravity well he’d apparently been toting around for a while now. The blond didn’t seem to notice he had an audience, elbow deep in the machine’s innards and intensely focused on what he was doing. Cor wondered if he should intervene; heavy machinery could be dangerous if you didn’t know what you were doing.

Prompto leaned down close to it, his face dangerously close to the mechanism, managing to wedge his arm down to the elbow inside while he made an adjustment. Cor was no mechanic, but he’d often been advised not to put anything in magical machinery that you wanted to keep attached. Cor knocked on the open door, firmly to be heard over whatever the blond was listening to. Prompto jumped at the noise and the gravity well hummed loudly in response, vibrating hard enough to shake the table.

They had time to make horrified eye contact for precisely two seconds before the gravity well went off. The machine jerked back, catching Prompto in the hip and making him stumble while it fired a violet ball the size of a beach ball into the machine shop.

There was no way to stop it, they both had to stand witness to the utter destruction of the metal shelves on the far wall collapsing and spilling parts and materials everywhere. The gravity sphere pulled everything into a clattering heap, crushing anything delicate and toppling everything else head over heels. What was probably less than thirty seconds passed like an eternity before finally fizzling into nothing.

Cor took a deep breath. Something was still noisily rolling its way to a far corner of the room, away from the destruction that was most of the rest of the machine shop. Prompto was still standing, struggling somewhat to cradle the oversized machine with his arm still somewhere inside it.

“I didn’t see this,” Cor murmured, covering his face with a palm. “If this is gone by morning this never happened. Understand?”

“Y- uh… yes sir,” Prompto said, meek and horrified.

Cor turned to leave, made it one step before it was already eating at him. He turned back around. Prompto hadn’t moved.

“Are you stuck?” Cor asked. Prompto stared unblinkingly for several long seconds before nodding. “Are you hurt?”

“Physical or emotional?”

Cor tamped down a smile and stepped back into the machine shop, shutting the door and resigning himself to a night fixing up the machine shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who stopped by to read my fic OTL It really raises my spirits to hear that people enjoyed it <3 I do have plans to write more in this universe, so keep an eye out if you wanted to read more of what comes after this! How much more trouble can Prompto get into as a legit Crownsguard? (spoilers: a lot)
> 
> Thanks for joining me...! ^^

**Author's Note:**

> I'll update tags/ratings/warnings etc as I add chapters :)


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